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View AllCharlie Kirk Challenges Young Women on Hookup Culture, Marriage, and Saving Sex for Commitment
Charlie Kirk engages in a raw and unfiltered conversation with young women about premarital sex, hookup culture, and marriage. When Kirk suggests that women waiting until marriage would transform men's behavior and relationships, the discussion becomes heated. The women push back on his traditional views, citing modern dating realities and male nature, while Kirk argues that women hold the leverage to change culture by withholding sex until commitment. The exchange reveals deep divisions on sexual compatibility, regret, soulmates, and whether America was better when sexual restraint was the norm.
The Opening Question: Would Fewer Abortions Be Good for America?
Charlie Kirk opens the conversation with a simple question: if there were fewer abortions in America, would that be a good thing? The young women agree, but the conversation quickly shifts to how to achieve that goal. When they suggest birth control and education, Kirk counters with data showing that increased birth control availability in the West has correlated with more abortions, not fewer. He then proposes what he calls a "radical idea": what if people waited to have sex until marriage?
The response is immediate and dismissive. "That will never happen," one woman says, "because people want to." Kirk reveals that he personally waited until marriage, which surprises the group. He then asks those who didn't wait a pointed question: do you wish you had? The answer is a resounding no from most, though one woman admits she has regrets about some of the men she's been with.
Soulmates, Marriage, and the Purpose of Commitment
Kirk attempts to paint an ideal scenario: a world where you only share your sexual experience with one person, your soulmate. But the young women aren't buying it. Several say they don't believe in soulmates or perfect matches. One explains that with such a large world, you're unlikely to find exactly one person, especially since people change throughout their lives and sometimes don't grow together.
This leads Kirk to ask: if there's no such thing as a soulmate, what is the purpose of marriage? The responses vary. One woman says she wouldn't even legally marry. When Kirk asks if marriage is even something worth caring about, he gets mixed answers. He presses one woman who is married, asking what she would think if she got divorced in 10 years. She refuses to entertain the hypothetical.
Kirk then asks if secular people should get married. He argues that everyone should get married because it makes you a better person. But he notes the contradiction: if you have as much sex as you want before marriage, then marriage really doesn't mean much, does it?
America's Sexual Culture: Then and Now
Kirk shifts to a historical comparison, asking if America was a better country when people waited to have sex until marriage. The women are skeptical that this was ever truly the norm, suggesting people were just hiding it better. Kirk points to data showing that the vast majority of women in the 1950s and 60s would not have had premarital sex, partly because birth control wasn't widespread.
He asks directly: do you think it's a good thing or a bad thing that people are having more premarital sex today? One woman admits she personally doesn't like hookup culture at all. Kirk is confused—she doesn't like hookup culture, yet she doesn't regret sleeping with multiple men before finding a soulmate, and she also does OnlyFans. He asks her to help him understand.
She explains that her body count is six: two were relationships, one she thought would become a relationship, and three were hookups when she was younger because all her friends were hooking up and she thought that's what she was supposed to do. She realized quickly that she doesn't like hooking up with random men.
Does Hookup Culture Harm Women?
Kirk asks if the women think hookup culture harms women. Most agree that it does, though one dissents. He then challenges them: if hookup culture is harmful, why don't you all make a commitment to save yourselves for marriage from this point forward? The response is that they're "already past the point." Kirk counters that you can always become a new version of yourself.
One woman resists, saying she doesn't want to be a new version—she wants to be herself, and her future partner should accept her for who she is, including her past. Kirk uses the analogy of an alcoholic going through AA—that's growth, becoming a new version of yourself. The woman agrees but insists her partner should still know what she's done. Kirk clarifies he's not suggesting hiding anything, but rather asking what the argument is against choosing abstinence moving forward.
The answer is cynical: even if you change, you're "going to get treated like garbage" either way. She explains that the next guy might not want to wait because everyone else gave it up easily. Kirk sees an opening: "Do you think you have any leverage over the men in your relationships?" What do men want more than anything? Sex. So why don't women stop giving it to them?
The Leverage Women Hold
Kirk argues that women could choose not to participate in hookup culture while also choosing not to wait until marriage—but if you aren't waiting until marriage, you're essentially saying marriage means nothing. The women push back: marriage is about more than sex; it's a bond between two people, a choice to build a family. Kirk agrees but says if you meet someone you don't want a family with but you're in love and want to have sex, that doesn't mean you should build a life around it.
He distinguishes between what you're able to do (you have the freedom) and what you ought to do (what's ideal). In the ideal, what's the argument against women in America telling men they have to marry them to sleep with them? One woman points to contradictions in the culture, referencing podcast conversations where men complain that if a woman who previously had casual sex now makes a new man wait, it's unfair to him.
Kirk acknowledges the point: if every woman who is on the dating market said "we're off limits until the ring and the final vows," how would men react? One woman says it would cut the dating pool in half. Kirk disagrees completely, saying we know what that world looks like because it existed 50 to 60 years ago. In that world, men grow up quicker, stop being "man-children and infants," and rise to the occasion.
Sexual Compatibility and Male Nature
One woman brings up sexual compatibility. She had a sexless marriage with her ex-husband, which was a major point of tension. With her new husband, they waited a while. Kirk asks if she thinks sexual compatibility is important—he agrees it is, but it's a culmination of different types of love that transcend the physical. You could have a partner with whom you have great sex but nothing in common—that's not a relationship, that's just an orgasm or a "situationship."
Kirk then shifts to a core argument: men have very primal, undeveloped, immature sexual natures, and that's not going to change without cultural pressure. He's not talking about legislation, but cultural norms. If women want men they are worthy of—and many women are not getting men they deserve—they need to stop giving the one thing men want most: unlimited sex and bodies on the internet. Men will only view women as visual stimulation and move on.
Men's sexual nature, Kirk argues, is very degenerative. How do you lift it up? By saying men don't get what they want most until they commit. You need to lead men toward a better future. One woman objects: "I'm not doing anything more crazy than they are." She points out that men are leaving degenerate comments on Twitch streams just like on her content—you're seeing a window into men's sexual nature.
Can Men Change?
Kirk asks: how do you lift men up? Do you lift them up by giving more sex and more availability? The women are pessimistic: "Men are always going to treat us that way." Kirk pushes back strongly. If you don't believe men can grow, you're dismissing all of humanity. Men can grow, but they need a goal. Men love being useful; they want a purpose and an adventure. If you say "you can be with me, but here are the rules of the road," men will rise to meet that standard.
One woman counters with the scale of the problem: "I'm on the internet with hundreds of millions of men. I can't fix all of them." Kirk's response is simple and direct: "I'm not asking you to fix all of them. You want to change the world? Start with changing you."
Video Transcript
0:00
if there were less abortions in America
0:01
would that be a good thing yes of course
0:04
the question is how we get there that's
0:05
a that's a good question how do we get
0:06
there birth control education so the
0:09
more birth control that has happened the
0:11
more birth control we've had in the west
0:12
the more abortions we have cuz people
0:14
have have more people need to be
0:16
implemented like uh self-control what
0:18
how about this radical idea what if
0:19
people waited to have sex when they got
0:22
married that will never happen why
0:24
because people want
0:27
to I'm being I did I waited for me
0:30
marriage I mean amazing that's I'm I'm
0:32
that's amazing for you but you are
0:34
not I know it's not easy but but that's
0:37
a good question let me get to this
0:38
though do those of you that haven't I'm
0:40
guessing youve all haven't waited till
0:41
you got married do you wish you did no
0:45
no no do any of you wish you so in the
0:49
ideal if I could paint a world for you
0:51
that you only shared your sexual
0:53
experience with one person that was your
0:54
soulmate that's not interesting to you
0:56
no oh that's cool but wait you guys
0:58
don't regret any of the men You' s with
1:00
I I may that I've slept with you don't
1:03
believe in soulmates not necess how
1:04
about best friend no per you don't
1:07
believe in best friends I've had a lot
1:08
of best friends in my life perfect match
1:10
no I don't think that exists either you
1:12
guys are so Jed I do think is better
1:14
when you're so many people throughout
1:16
your at least we're consistent no you're
1:18
very consistent have multiple soulmates
1:21
you multiple soulmates I was saying like
1:22
with as big as the world is you're not
1:24
going to necessarily find exactly one
1:27
person because you're going to grow
1:29
throughout your life we're changing all
1:30
the time and sometimes people don't grow
1:32
with you but if that person were to grow
1:34
with you then that's so then if it's not
1:36
a soulmate mean this not factiously then
1:38
what is the purpose of marriage I don't
1:41
agree I wouldn't do illegal marriage to
1:44
come into a union is marriage even a
1:45
thing that we should care about if you
1:48
got divorced and I don't wish that but
1:50
if you got divorced in 10 years what
1:53
what do you think of that I I I'm I mean
1:54
I I don't think that will happen it's
1:56
not it's not it's not even a
1:57
hypothetical I want to entertain do you
1:59
think secular people should get married
2:01
I think everyone should get married I
2:02
think it makes you a better person um
2:04
what I what I find interesting though is
2:06
that we're start you've said it best if
2:08
you have as much sex as you want before
2:10
and it marriage really doesn't mean much
2:11
does it no do you think America was a
2:13
better country when people waited to
2:15
have sex when they got married you think
2:17
everyone did that in America no it was
2:19
the vast majority of women in the 50s
2:20
and 60s would not have premarital sex I
2:23
don't think we have technology to prove
2:25
that though we don't have the data that
2:27
of still having sex outside of marriage
2:30
hiding it better talk talk to your
2:31
grandparents generation we have studies
2:33
we have surveys and we know this by the
2:35
way cuz birth control wasn't that
2:36
widespread yeah but you can about
2:38
getting pregnant right but we we we know
2:41
there like times a months with ovulation
2:43
hold on a second so let's just you do
2:44
not think that people are having more
2:46
premarital sex today than they were 60
2:48
years ago I'm sure they are definitely
2:50
are but that doesn't mean they weren't
2:52
at all before so I'm asking do you think
2:55
do you think that's a good thing or a
2:56
bad thing that people are having more
2:58
premarital sex I personally don't like
3:00
it I don't like hookup culture at all
3:02
you don't like hookup culture but you're
3:04
not regretting sleeping with a bunch of
3:06
guys before a soulmate help me
3:08
understand I I okay hold on guys is
3:11
crazy hold on and you don't like hookup
3:13
culture but you also do only fans so
3:14
help me understand all this okay so my
3:16
my body count is six and two of those I
3:20
was in a relationship with the third one
3:22
I thought I was going to be in a
3:23
relationship with and the three before
3:25
that all of my friends were hooking up
3:26
with guys so I thought like oh that's
3:28
what I need to do cu they're all hooking
3:30
up so this is the normal thing I should
3:32
be hooking up and I realized very
3:34
quickly I don't like hooking up with
3:36
random men I don't like any of you think
3:38
that women are being harmed by hookup
3:40
culture yes I agree so you all agree
3:42
with that but then you say that no you
3:45
don't think men are being you don't
3:46
think women are being harmed by hope
3:47
culture no okay wait what we'll get that
3:49
in a second however so then why don't
3:52
all of you make a commitment that you're
3:54
going to save yourself for marriage you
3:55
could do that Society might not have to
3:57
because like I'm already past the point
3:59
well you you can make a new you can
4:00
always become a new version of yourself
4:03
what's done is done but you could say
4:04
I'm now going to save myself from this
4:06
point forward I don't want to be new
4:08
version I want to be me and they accept
4:09
me for me what is me what is that what
4:11
whatever I've done in the past and up to
4:12
this point so there's no improvement I
4:15
don't need I don't need to improve
4:16
necessarily it's that I don't don't need
4:18
to improve hold on it's that I don't
4:20
need to hide what I've done no I'm not
4:21
saying hide but for example bad bad
4:24
example if one is an alcoholic and they
4:25
go through AA and no it's okay and then
4:28
you you become a new version of yourself
4:30
that's growth right yeah that's growth
4:32
but they should still know what I've
4:34
done they know it but I'm I'm not saying
4:36
you hide it I'm asking the question what
4:38
is the argument against any of you young
4:40
ladies saying you know what I'm no
4:42
longer going to have premarital sex I'm
4:43
going to wait till marriage hookup
4:44
culture is destructive I'm going to find
4:46
a man who values with me he's never been
4:48
with another partner and I'm going to
4:49
start a new chapter what is the argument
4:50
against that um because then you're
4:52
going to come on this podcast and we're
4:54
going to have a 2hour long conversation
4:56
about how if everybody waited in the
4:58
Drive-Thru and they paid $100 why is a
5:00
man got to pay $2 you're going to it's
5:03
it's a conversation they have on here
5:05
about everybody being reborn they're
5:06
like oh so if you wait now everyone's
5:09
already done it it's not fair to the
5:10
next man they have this conversation
5:13
every not tracking your argument no it's
5:14
not really an argument necessarily so
5:16
she's just she's given an example about
5:18
about the fact that like if I don't you
5:19
know all these people are going to
5:21
participate in this anyways so why I got
5:24
it okay but you're kind of going to get
5:25
[ __ ] on it any what I'm saying you're
5:28
going to get treated like garbage
5:29
whether you do so you think you'll be
5:30
treated like garbage if you don't have
5:32
premarital sex oh easily easily well I
5:35
just think maybe potentially the next
5:37
guy wouldn't want to wait CU they might
5:38
be like oh but everyone else this do do
5:41
you think that you have any leverage
5:42
over the men in your
5:44
relationships um what do men want more
5:47
than anything else probably sexy why why
5:49
don't you stop giving it to them
5:51
nobody's giving it to anyone what do you
5:53
talk about well you said in your
5:54
relationships you guys had premarital
5:55
sex but you could also like not
5:57
participate in hookup cold shirt and
5:59
also also decide to not wait until
6:01
marriage like those things don't have to
6:03
they're not you're right they're not
6:04
synonymous but then if you aren't
6:05
waiting till marriage then you're
6:06
basically saying marriage means nothing
6:08
that's effective what you're saying not
6:09
necessarily because what is marriage
6:12
What is marriage about is not about it's
6:13
more than sex you're right but what is
6:14
marriage about it's a bond between two
6:16
people it's a person that you choose to
6:18
have a I agree so but but if you can't
6:20
you have a bond marriage if you meet
6:22
someone who you don't want to have a
6:23
family with but you're actually in love
6:26
or whatever and you want to have sex you
6:27
should be able to and that's not hookup
6:29
C you of course you should be able to
6:30
I'm not saying what I'm arguing what one
6:32
ought to do not one able to do able and
6:34
ought are two different words able fine
6:36
you have the freedom to do it I'm saying
6:38
in the ideal what is the argument
6:40
against the women of America saying men
6:42
you have to marry me to be able to sleep
6:44
with me but but also why you should ask
6:46
your co-host right here cuz he doesn't
6:48
want to get
6:50
married yeah I don't want I don't want
6:52
to get married you know look maybe I
6:54
might have a I'm I'm I'm a super tra guy
6:57
so excuse my questions me and going
6:59
agree on everything but uh so what I
7:03
mean I I do think that sexual
7:05
compatibility is important guess I I
7:08
because that was one of the biggest you
7:10
go piece of attention with my ex-husband
7:13
is I mean we had a sexless marriage yeah
7:15
that's that's a problem yeah I guess my
7:19
new husband and I I mean we waited a
7:21
while and you said that he was more of a
7:23
fan booy right the first one or like
7:25
more feminine right he wasn't
7:27
necessarily I mean he was
7:30
tall Mexican but he just like I made a
7:32
lot more than he did
7:34
he do you think that men should wait
7:37
until marriage or just abely okay cuz I
7:39
agree with that then if women have to
7:40
wait men have to I think that America
7:42
there's a lot of problems in America one
7:43
of the problems has been that sex in its
7:46
ideal is weighted in a holy setting
7:49
between a male and female that share
7:52
that experience only with their life
7:54
partner now there's exceptions there's
7:56
mistakes but if we just throw it all at
7:59
the window and say men won't like me and
8:00
hookup culture I think there's a lot of
8:02
damage and a lot of ramifications for
8:04
that and I again the the the point being
8:07
is this is I believe firmly young ladies
8:10
are damaged mentally by having too many
8:12
sexual partners I think too I think I
8:16
think men are too hookup culture hurts
8:18
women far more than I agree it hurts
8:20
women more but I think men are like I
8:22
don't think really I don't think men
8:23
realize how damaging it is as well to
8:25
them maybe of course there's damage to
8:27
all people but men are wired differently
8:30
where many sexual partners for men does
8:32
not hurt men nearly as much as many
8:35
sexual partners for women because women
8:37
are far more relational driven and far
8:39
more Bond driven so they look at sex as
8:42
a culmination of the bond where men look
8:43
at it as sex as physical purely not
8:47
always with those other elements unless
8:50
there is a component of we're going to
8:52
try to develop a long basting
8:54
longlasting Bond here and the question
8:56
is so do you think that men have driven
8:58
hookup culture then because because they
8:59
don't care about it as much I I think
9:01
that it's both I think women are driving
9:02
it too I think it's both I think but but
9:04
you're saying that women when women have
9:06
sex they need to have that Bond and they
9:08
they're more concern how they're wired
9:10
yeah so women are wired to want to have
9:12
a bond when they're having sex with
9:13
someone but men don't care so do you not
9:16
would you not think that men are driving
9:18
hookup culture then no I think both
9:19
sides are I mean I think that men are
9:21
driving because because women are making
9:23
themselves available that's the point
9:25
because they think it's going to be a
9:26
longer Bond yeah kind of and women
9:29
should know male nature before they
9:31
start sleeping around with hold on so is
9:33
it a woman's fault or is it a man's
9:35
fault both it's both if if every woman
9:37
today that was marketable and all of you
9:40
guys are on the market correct looking
9:42
for Life Partners I've never been on the
9:43
market okay okay now every one of you
9:46
it's simple supply and demand if you
9:48
said we're off limits until the ring is
9:50
there and the priest says the final vows
9:52
how would men react
9:55
hypothetically they would hop that would
9:57
decrease half the dating pool probably
9:58
at least I totally disagree cuz we know
10:00
what that world looks like we used to
10:02
have it 50 or 60 years ago you know what
10:03
men grow up quicker they stop being
10:06
Manchild and
10:07
infants tough so so you're one of the
10:09
ones who also uh probably argues against
10:12
like there's like sexual chemistry and
10:14
stuff like that you probably argue no
10:16
that's I think sexual chemistry is a
10:17
real thing but it's a culmination of
10:20
different types of love that are not
10:22
just erotic there are deeper types of
10:24
Love That transcend the physical
10:26
physical is part of it sexual
10:28
compatibility as you say is a huge part
10:29
of the relationship but all of you know
10:31
this you could have a partner where you
10:33
had great sex and you have nothing in
10:35
common that's not a relationship that's
10:37
a orgasm and a one night stand or
10:40
whatever a situationship yeah okay it's
10:42
fine a situationship that's not
10:44
something to build a life around yeah
10:46
yeah yeah I agree okay so no we're not
10:48
disagreeing I I just without legislation
10:52
or big decrees I I know this that men
10:56
have very Primal undeveloped immature
11:00
sexual natures and that is not going to
11:01
change so should women be punished for
11:04
men taking advantage of women for I'm
11:05
not punishing I'm not talking about
11:06
anything I'm talking about cultural
11:07
stuff not legislation I'm asking about
11:09
hookup culture again but but if if women
11:11
want a man that they are worthy of and
11:15
many of you are not getting men you are
11:16
worthy of then you need to then stop
11:19
giving the one thing that men want the
11:21
most and that is unlimited amounts of
11:24
sex all the time bodies on the internet
11:26
cuz men will only view you as a visual
11:29
stimulation and they'll move on and if
11:31
you disagree you do not understand male
11:32
nature men's sexual nature is very
11:34
degenerative and how do you lift it up
11:38
you lift it up by saying you don't get
11:40
what you want the most until you commit
11:42
you need to lead men towards a better
11:44
future because I'm not doing anything
11:47
more crazy than they are I'm not doing
11:50
I'm not doing anything more crazy than
11:51
they are I'm not I'm not trying to
11:52
ridicule you guys I don't care I don't
11:54
care you can say whatever you want but
11:56
but I'm saying they're getting the same
11:57
degenerate comments that I am on Twitch
11:59
streams because you're now seeing a
12:01
window into men's sexual nature and
12:03
that's what I'm saying so but how then
12:04
do you lift it up do you lift it up by
12:05
giving more sex and more always going to
12:08
treat us way that's that's interesting
12:10
always going to Tre that's true yes they
12:12
will let me tell you yes they will men
12:13
can grow up but they need a goal no this
12:16
is very if you don't if you don't
12:18
believe that then you basically are
12:19
dismissing all of humanity it's not that
12:21
I can't believe that men will grow it's
12:22
that men love being useful this is fine
12:25
men want a purpose they want to go in an
12:26
adventure and so if you say you can be
12:29
with me but here's the rules of the road
12:32
okay but I'm on the internet and there's
12:33
how many thousands of hundreds of
12:35
millions of men on the internet I can't
12:37
fix all of them I'm not asking you to
12:39
fix all of them you want to change the
12:40
world start with changing you
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