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Charlie Kirk Challenges Young Women on Hookup Culture, Marriage, and Saving Sex for Commitment
Charlie Kirk engages in a raw and unfiltered conversation with young women about premarital sex, hookup culture, and marriage. When Kirk suggests that women waiting until marriage would transform men's behavior and relationships, the discussion becomes heated. The women push back on his traditional views, citing modern dating realities and male nature, while Kirk argues that women hold the leverage to change culture by withholding sex until commitment. The exchange reveals deep divisions on sexual compatibility, regret, soulmates, and whether America was better when sexual restraint was the norm.
The Opening Question: Would Fewer Abortions Be Good for America?
Charlie Kirk opens the conversation with a simple question: if there were fewer abortions in America, would that be a good thing? The young women agree, but the conversation quickly shifts to how to achieve that goal. When they suggest birth control and education, Kirk counters with data showing that increased birth control availability in the West has correlated with more abortions, not fewer. He then proposes what he calls a "radical idea": what if people waited to have sex until marriage?
The response is immediate and dismissive. "That will never happen," one woman says, "because people want to." Kirk reveals that he personally waited until marriage, which surprises the group. He then asks those who didn't wait a pointed question: do you wish you had? The answer is a resounding no from most, though one woman admits she has regrets about some of the men she's been with.
Soulmates, Marriage, and the Purpose of Commitment
Kirk attempts to paint an ideal scenario: a world where you only share your sexual experience with one person, your soulmate. But the young women aren't buying it. Several say they don't believe in soulmates or perfect matches. One explains that with such a large world, you're unlikely to find exactly one person, especially since people change throughout their lives and sometimes don't grow together.
This leads Kirk to ask: if there's no such thing as a soulmate, what is the purpose of marriage? The responses vary. One woman says she wouldn't even legally marry. When Kirk asks if marriage is even something worth caring about, he gets mixed answers. He presses one woman who is married, asking what she would think if she got divorced in 10 years. She refuses to entertain the hypothetical.
Kirk then asks if secular people should get married. He argues that everyone should get married because it makes you a better person. But he notes the contradiction: if you have as much sex as you want before marriage, then marriage really doesn't mean much, does it?
America's Sexual Culture: Then and Now
Kirk shifts to a historical comparison, asking if America was a better country when people waited to have sex until marriage. The women are skeptical that this was ever truly the norm, suggesting people were just hiding it better. Kirk points to data showing that the vast majority of women in the 1950s and 60s would not have had premarital sex, partly because birth control wasn't widespread.
He asks directly: do you think it's a good thing or a bad thing that people are having more premarital sex today? One woman admits she personally doesn't like hookup culture at all. Kirk is confused—she doesn't like hookup culture, yet she doesn't regret sleeping with multiple men before finding a soulmate, and she also does OnlyFans. He asks her to help him understand.
She explains that her body count is six: two were relationships, one she thought would become a relationship, and three were hookups when she was younger because all her friends were hooking up and she thought that's what she was supposed to do. She realized quickly that she doesn't like hooking up with random men.
Does Hookup Culture Harm Women?
Kirk asks if the women think hookup culture harms women. Most agree that it does, though one dissents. He then challenges them: if hookup culture is harmful, why don't you all make a commitment to save yourselves for marriage from this point forward? The response is that they're "already past the point." Kirk counters that you can always become a new version of yourself.
One woman resists, saying she doesn't want to be a new version—she wants to be herself, and her future partner should accept her for who she is, including her past. Kirk uses the analogy of an alcoholic going through AA—that's growth, becoming a new version of yourself. The woman agrees but insists her partner should still know what she's done. Kirk clarifies he's not suggesting hiding anything, but rather asking what the argument is against choosing abstinence moving forward.
The answer is cynical: even if you change, you're "going to get treated like garbage" either way. She explains that the next guy might not want to wait because everyone else gave it up easily. Kirk sees an opening: "Do you think you have any leverage over the men in your relationships?" What do men want more than anything? Sex. So why don't women stop giving it to them?
The Leverage Women Hold
Kirk argues that women could choose not to participate in hookup culture while also choosing not to wait until marriage—but if you aren't waiting until marriage, you're essentially saying marriage means nothing. The women push back: marriage is about more than sex; it's a bond between two people, a choice to build a family. Kirk agrees but says if you meet someone you don't want a family with but you're in love and want to have sex, that doesn't mean you should build a life around it.
He distinguishes between what you're able to do (you have the freedom) and what you ought to do (what's ideal). In the ideal, what's the argument against women in America telling men they have to marry them to sleep with them? One woman points to contradictions in the culture, referencing podcast conversations where men complain that if a woman who previously had casual sex now makes a new man wait, it's unfair to him.
Kirk acknowledges the point: if every woman who is on the dating market said "we're off limits until the ring and the final vows," how would men react? One woman says it would cut the dating pool in half. Kirk disagrees completely, saying we know what that world looks like because it existed 50 to 60 years ago. In that world, men grow up quicker, stop being "man-children and infants," and rise to the occasion.
Sexual Compatibility and Male Nature
One woman brings up sexual compatibility. She had a sexless marriage with her ex-husband, which was a major point of tension. With her new husband, they waited a while. Kirk asks if she thinks sexual compatibility is important—he agrees it is, but it's a culmination of different types of love that transcend the physical. You could have a partner with whom you have great sex but nothing in common—that's not a relationship, that's just an orgasm or a "situationship."
Kirk then shifts to a core argument: men have very primal, undeveloped, immature sexual natures, and that's not going to change without cultural pressure. He's not talking about legislation, but cultural norms. If women want men they are worthy of—and many women are not getting men they deserve—they need to stop giving the one thing men want most: unlimited sex and bodies on the internet. Men will only view women as visual stimulation and move on.
Men's sexual nature, Kirk argues, is very degenerative. How do you lift it up? By saying men don't get what they want most until they commit. You need to lead men toward a better future. One woman objects: "I'm not doing anything more crazy than they are." She points out that men are leaving degenerate comments on Twitch streams just like on her content—you're seeing a window into men's sexual nature.
Can Men Change?
Kirk asks: how do you lift men up? Do you lift them up by giving more sex and more availability? The women are pessimistic: "Men are always going to treat us that way." Kirk pushes back strongly. If you don't believe men can grow, you're dismissing all of humanity. Men can grow, but they need a goal. Men love being useful; they want a purpose and an adventure. If you say "you can be with me, but here are the rules of the road," men will rise to meet that standard.
One woman counters with the scale of the problem: "I'm on the internet with hundreds of millions of men. I can't fix all of them." Kirk's response is simple and direct: "I'm not asking you to fix all of them. You want to change the world? Start with changing you."
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