Charlie Kirk's Advice: Why Political Agreement Matters in Relationships

The Question About Political Differences

"All right. I had a question about—I'm Tyler, by the way. I had a question. My girlfriend and I have differing political beliefs. We voted differently. We're both Christians. We have a lot of the same beliefs about how humans should be treated. Abortion, that type of thing. But, identity politics a little bit. Not liking candidates based on their personality versus their policy kind of divided us. Also, prioritization of policies. So, she's a little more foreign helping. And I think we should be more focused domestically right now with the damage we've, you know, taken on the last four years. So, how should we handle our relationship when we have a lot of the same values but differing political beliefs?"

Exploring the Depth of the Differences

"It's a really good question. So, would you say that even outside of Trump, would you still largely agree on politics?"

"No, I think so. There's a little bit—I think that kind of plays into the identity piece. She tends to think that Trump's anti-immigrant where I say he's anti-illegal."

"Outside of Trump. Like do you think that she would vote more Republican than Democrat?"

"I don't think so. Just based off of the foreign aid piece."

The Hard Truth About Building a Life Together

"Do you want the truth?"

"Yeah."

"Do not marry this girl. Okay. Do not marry someone that you cannot talk about the Daily News with. You guys can laugh at it. Do not build a life with somebody where you cannot agree on what daily news channel to watch. I'm gonna be honest."

"Yeah, we can talk about it and we all—we agree that you know a lot of the mainstreams—"

"You have to agree on it. I'm telling you right now as someone who is married—when you have to instill values in a child. You cannot have the first elemental issue at 7 a.m. when you turn on the radio or a podcast to be disagreement. You got enough of that already in a home. Yeah. You need to have harmony."

Addressing Specific Issues

"Can I ask you like specific issues like we agree on abortion? There's been—we've talked about immigration and I've said, you know, Trump's not anti-immigrant, he's anti-legal immigrant and we need to protect our own citizens and we need—we do need to bring in people from other countries, but only when we can actually give them opportunities and we agree on that type of thing. So what would be dividing belief?"

"Well, I asked—what was revealing, I asked would she vote more Republican than Democrat? And you—and you said, again I don't want to put words in your mouth, but you said not really. Yeah. And again I'm only saying build a life with someone where you have agreement on the macro issues."

The Importance of Macro Agreement

"You can have disagreement on the micro issues. You need to agree on religion. You need to agree on eternity. You need to agree on political matters. You could disagree on what type of food you like. That's micro. You could disagree on bedtime, right? You could disagree on the type of cars or where you vacation. And that is micro. Macro, you must be in alignment."

"And understand, let's just say for example, you're raising a child and she's like, 'Hey, you know, you take the son in the morning and then he'll be with the mom.' Is that kid going to hear two different things? A house divided can't stand. And so that's the point is that there must be harmony because if all of a sudden, for example, your wife will be like, 'Well, you know, Trump is XYZ,' or and you say, 'Well no, he's actually this,' at some point it's like they'll look and they'll say, 'Well there's disunity there.' So I'm a big believer in macro agreement. I'm not trying to like rock your world here. But do not try to change your girlfriend or your future fiancée or wife politically. Does not work."

The Influence of Family Background

"Yeah. I'm telling you right now. This would actually be a good segue. So, I was going to come here to Wazzu. I go to Spokane Falls Community College. I didn't want to live the party life, the college, frat life, and I didn't want to be influenced by liberal universities. I wanted to kind of just work and go to school. And I think a big piece of her political beliefs—I hear her, she has an open mind to what I say and she starts to agree with things. I think a lot of her life has been influenced by having two liberal parents and then now she's in school."

The In-Law Factor

"Do not marry this girl. Like, you do not want liberal in-laws. Like, this is—you do not want this. I'm telling you, run away, find somebody else. In-laws are very important. I'm telling you right now, as someone who's married to two kids, in-laws become embedded. You almost inherit them as pseudo parents. And like if all of a sudden you're going to be like, 'Oh, here's Thanksgiving. Here's Christmas.' You should be excited about Thanksgiving. You should be excited about it, not like begrudging against it."

The Blunt Truth About Family Dynamics

"And so if you want warfare in the family, because here's the sad truth. You want like the more blunt truth?"

"Why not?"

"Is she have a good relationship with her dad?"

"Yeah."

"She'll side with him over you every time. Yeah. She will leak to her parents against you if all of a sudden she feels as if the politics is going under the marriage. Her first love is her dad. And if she has a good relationship with her dad and she feels as if that you're like bringing bad ideology in there, I'm sure your mind is turning a little bit because you might have seen some examples of this. She will go back to the liberal parents against you and you'll be on an island."

Final Considerations

"Yeah. And I say she has an open mind. Like I don't want to put her under the stereotypical liberal."

"And I'm not saying that—parents matter though."

"Yeah. But with her dad, I'll just like give you this anecdote. Her dad knows how I voted and we've—and he's a pretty strong advocate against Trump. He hasn't ever brought it up to me. We have a good relationship. And she has called out her dad for not having enough of an open mind. And she says that, you know, I'm torn between you two and I think you should be less hateful."

"I know. I'm just—I'm telling you though, it goes to the runner, which means it goes to the biology. And because it's unfair for her to choose like, you know, which one or the other one. You might think like I'm generalizing. This comes from over 10 years of seeing and doing this that political agreement is a necessary foundational element when you want to try to build a family."

"Got it. Thank you, man. You got a lot to pray about and wrestle with."

"Thank you. Yes, sir."