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Charlie Kirk is the Founder and President of Turning Point USA, the largest and fastest growing conservative youth activist organization in the country with over 250,000 student members, over 150 full-time staff, and a presence on over 2,000 high school and college campuses nationwide. Charlie is also the Chairman of Students for Trump, which aims to activate one million new college voters on campuses in battleground states in the lead up to the 2020 presidential election. His social media reaches over 100 million people per month and according to Axios, he is one of the "top 10 most engaged" Twitter handles in the world. He is also the host of “The Charlie Kirk Show,” which regularly ranks among the top news shows on Apple podcast charts.
Charlie Kirk and Erika Kirk on Marriage, Purity, and Navigating Modern Dating at Young Women's Leadership Summit
Charlie Kirk and Erika Kirk address young women at Turning Point USA's 10th annual Young Women's Leadership Summit, tackling the pressures of hookup culture, career versus family choices, and what it takes to find the right person. Erika shares why saving yourself for marriage matters and how women can navigate parental expectations while honoring their desire for family. Charlie challenges both young men and women to examine their role in the current dating crisis, revealing the uncomfortable truth about why marriage rates have collapsed and what it will take to rebuild a culture of commitment and purity.
Charlie Kirk opens the 10th annual Young Women's Leadership Summit by celebrating his wife Erika's powerful address to the audience. He expresses gratitude to the Dudlesen Foundation and Karen Dudlesen for their generous support over the years, emphasizing that this event focuses on real women because there is only such thing as real women. The session is designed to address questions about relationships, marriage, and raising children rather than politics, creating a space for authentic conversation about life's most important decisions.
Career Ambitions Versus Family Aspirations
When asked about balancing competing pressures between building a career and starting a family, Erika acknowledges the difficulty, especially when parental voices push young women toward career advancement over marriage. She advises writing down career goals, putting them in an envelope, and pursuing them while remaining open to finding the right person. Erika emphasizes that finding the right person is 90% of the challenge, and once parents see their daughter with someone they love, they become much more understanding about family plans.
Charlie conducts an informal poll, asking attendees to choose between an amazing career or an amazing family. Nearly all hands go up for family, yet Charlie points out the disconnect: if an amazing family is the priority, then finding a husband should be a daily purpose. He presents sobering statistics that women not married by age 30 have only a 50% chance of getting married, and those without children by 30 face similar odds. While not prescriptive, these numbers highlight the importance of aligning daily actions with stated priorities.
Navigating Hookup Culture with Conviction
The conversation shifts to the intense pressures of hookup culture on college campuses, where young women often feel that sexual involvement is necessary to secure a boyfriend or husband. Erika's answer is direct and uncompromising: if a man requires sexual activity before marriage, he's not meant to be your husband. She urges young women to honor their purity and save themselves for their future husbands, emphasizing the simplicity and power of this commitment.
When Charlie asks how many attendees find it difficult to maintain purity on campus, fewer hands go up than expected. However, he notes that less than 25% of young women graduate college as virgins, revealing that the challenge is more widespread than acknowledged. Erika stresses that the church doesn't talk enough about purity, and both she and Charlie advocate for saving oneself for marriage as something beautiful and worth protecting.
Debunking the Compatibility Myth
Addressing the common argument about needing to test drive a relationship before marriage, Erika firmly rejects this notion. She explains that when you make a covenant with the Lord at the altar, the love is special and powerful. Natural chemistry exists within marriage when you've married your soulmate, the person God made for you. There's no need to treat marriage like purchasing a car because you're not marrying a robot but rather someone with whom God has designed you to be compatible.
Knowing When You've Found the Right Person
So how does a young woman know she's found the right person? Erika recommends premarital counseling, acknowledging it has a stigma but emphasizing its value in learning about your partner. She's witnessed premarital counseling prevent marriages that shouldn't happen, especially among young, naive couples driven more by lust than genuine compatibility. When asked about the right age to marry, Erika affirms that if you're young but have found the right person, premarital counseling can help confirm that decision.
Erika shares a personal example of how she knew Charlie was the one: he sat across from her and expressed his intention to date her with the clear purpose of not messing with her heart. The right person treats you with intention, not as an option. While it sounds cliche, Erika insists that when you meet the right person, you will know.
Charlie asks what advice Erika would give when a young woman is significantly more motivated than her boyfriend. While some hands go up, Charlie identifies this as a structural issue that can lead to disordered relationships. If a woman is the primary driver while the man remains complacent, she ends up becoming the breadwinner while he stays unmotivated. This creates an unequally yoked relationship, a recipe for long-term problems.
The Dating Pool Crisis Affecting Both Genders
Charlie asks how many young women think the current dating pool of young men is lackluster. Every hand in the room goes up. He then reveals that young men say the same thing about the dating pool of young women, prompting the question: who's right? The audience laughs and insists the women are right, but Charlie encourages more humility on both sides.
What can young women do to make themselves more appealing to men? Erika offers simple but profound advice: watch your speech. People notice if you curse, gossip, or speak negatively. Men are turned off by gossip and are attracted to women who speak life over others. The power behind your words is immense, and harnessing your tongue biblically is essential. Additionally, dressing appropriately rather than provocatively attracts a different caliber of man. Erika challenges the audience to be the type of godly woman that attracts the godly man God has made for them.
The Crisis Among Young Men
Charlie turns the conversation toward the serious struggles young men face. He points out that young men are committing suicide at higher rates, checking out of society, and suffering from mental health issues more than young women. While it's easy to criticize or laugh at young men, society desperately needs strong men, husbands, and fathers. Everyone in the room should be part of the project to make men strong again.
Charlie identifies self-control as one of the most attractive and rare qualities in men today. Every hand in the audience agrees. Self-control signals maturity rather than infancy, and when a young woman sees maturity in a man, she recognizes that he can navigate the family through chaos and challenges. This quality is essential for any man who wants to be a husband and father.
What Young Women Need to Embrace
Charlie presents a challenging message: young ladies need to be willing to submit to a godly man when they meet one. If unwillingness exists, that's something to pray about. Many young men in the dating pool express frustration about not wanting to be bossed around constantly. The hypertoxic feminism prevalent on college campuses is extremely off-putting to young men who are already told they're toxically masculine, part of the patriarchy, and unnecessary.
This constant put-down leads men to either disengage entirely or engage in destructive behavior, such as sleeping with multiple women without any intention of commitment. Charlie acknowledges the problem exists on both sides and encourages mutual understanding and humility.
The Power Women Hold in Changing the Culture
Charlie concludes with a powerful insight into male psychology: men want what they cannot have. Men will do anything to solve the problem of scarcity. If men can obtain what they desire easily, it's not attractive or motivating. There is one thing men want more than anything else, and it's not Bitcoin. The audience knows exactly what he means.
As women have stopped saving themselves for marriage over the last 30 to 40 years, marriage rates have collapsed. There is a direct correlation between these two phenomena. Charlie emphasizes that every young woman in the room has more power than she could ever imagine. If all of them collectively committed to saving themselves for their future husbands, men would grow up in ways beyond imagination.
Hookup culture has given men everything they've always wanted without requiring them to work, mature, or commit. Women throw themselves at men, allowing them to remain as grown infants indefinitely. This does tremendous psychological and spiritual damage to young ladies. If the women in the room combined their power, committed to purity, and trusted in Jesus and God for their future husbands, the dating pool would improve dramatically. The choice, Charlie suggests, is in their hands.
