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Charlie Kirk is the Founder and President of Turning Point USA, the largest and fastest growing conservative youth activist organization in the country with over 250,000 student members, over 150 full-time staff, and a presence on over 2,000 high school and college campuses nationwide. Charlie is also the Chairman of Students for Trump, which aims to activate one million new college voters on campuses in battleground states in the lead up to the 2020 presidential election. His social media reaches over 100 million people per month and according to Axios, he is one of the "top 10 most engaged" Twitter handles in the world. He is also the host of “The Charlie Kirk Show,” which regularly ranks among the top news shows on Apple podcast charts.
Charlie Kirk and Erika Kirk on Biblical Marriage, Submission, and Raising Children in a Conservative Home
Charlie Kirk and his wife Erika Kirk open up about their marriage, sharing candid insights on biblical submission, gender roles, and family finances. Erika discusses why she considers submission liberating rather than oppressive, while Charlie explains why men must lead financially. They address dating apps, the importance of being equally yoked, and why women with children report higher happiness. The Kirks also reveal their homeschooling plans and offer advice for young couples preparing for marriage and parenthood, emphasizing that faith must come before career ambitions.
Charlie Kirk and Erika Kirk sat down for a special episode where they answered audience questions about marriage, faith, and family life. The couple, married since 2021 and engaged in 2020, reflected on how they knew it was time to get married. Erika emphasized the importance of not wasting time when you find the right person, explaining that they were ready to start their life together.
When asked who is more conservative, both agreed without hesitation that Erika holds that title. Charlie joked that he's a moderate compared to his wife. Erika attributes her conservative values to her upbringing, crediting her mother and grandparents. Her grandfather, an immigrant from Sweden who fought in World War II and the Korean War, earned the Silver Star, Bronze Star, and was knighted by the King of Sweden. He maintained fierce rightwing principles throughout his life.
Charlie noted that having children made him significantly more conservative, which Erika confirmed was true for her as well, adding that it also made her a better wife. When discussing whether young liberal women lack conservatism because they don't have children, Erika made a distinction. She has conservative friends without children who struggle to find partners, but noted that women who actively choose not to have kids often view them as a burden or nuisance, which represents a fundamentally different mindset.
What to Look for in a Conservative Spouse
The Kirks addressed what traits conservative women should seek in men and vice versa. Erika stressed that the most important question a woman should ask is whether a potential husband will lead her closer to Christ or further away. Being equally yoked spiritually is paramount.
Erika expressed skepticism about dating apps, explaining that when men don't have to pursue or seek out a woman, the relationship dynamic suffers from the start. While she acknowledged that some people do find their spouses through apps, she compared the odds to winning the lottery. The ease of swiping through profiles reduces women to numbers rather than individuals worth pursuing intentionally.
For men seeking wives, Charlie emphasized the importance of self-control. For women seeking husbands, he stressed the importance of finding someone who isn't looking for a feminist woman, but rather one willing to embrace biblical principles of marriage.
The Beautiful Truth About Biblical Submission
The topic of submission generated numerous audience questions, and Erika dove deep into explaining why she considers it a beautiful rather than oppressive concept. She explained that as a wife, her biblical role is to be a helpmate to her husband, which doesn't mean she's less than him or above him. She loves that Charlie leads their home and is intentional with his faith and his roles as father and husband.
Erika clarified that submission doesn't mean rivalry within marriage. Instead, spouses complement each other like parts of a body, each with specific functions. She compared it to how an eye is meant to see and an ear to hear. You cannot expect an ear to perform the function of an eye. Similarly, in marriage, the wife guards the home and supports the children, making it easier for the husband to fulfill his responsibilities.
She emphasized that this discussion assumes a healthy marriage, not abusive situations. In a sacred biblical marriage, two people become one at the altar. The problem arises when women lose the fire they had at the altar after having children, becoming burned out by circumstances. Submission should be liberating and freeing, not exhausting. When each spouse handles their responsibilities, it creates beautiful teamwork that reflects the relationship between Christ and the church.
The relevant scripture is found in Ephesians 5, which calls both husbands and wives to submit to one another out of reverence for Christ, prioritizing each other's needs. Erika believes many women struggle with submission because of feminist mentality that has seeped into culture and even Christianity itself.
The Feminization of Christianity
Erika observed that Christianity has become somewhat feminized, pointing to what she calls Pinterest Christianity with flowers and scripted fonts that make the Bible appear feminine when it's not. The Bible is a beautiful book on how to live life biblically, always leading back to God, with nothing to do with being feminine or masculine.
Women often feel offended by submission because they think it makes them lesser or strips them of choice and voice they need to feel liberated. But Erika argues this is the exact opposite of reality in biblical marriage. In such marriages, women are supported, loved, and their viewpoints are just as important. The key is letting the husband lead.
Erika noted that women who aren't strong Christians struggle more with this concept, particularly those navigating marriage based on worldly standards rather than biblical ones. However, she pointed out that men must be prepared to take on the leadership role, which isn't light. When men aren't prepared and leave the metaphorical pants on the ground, women feel compelled to pick them up and take on roles they weren't meant to carry. This often combines with mom guilt, especially for women who worked before becoming stay-at-home mothers and now compare their seasons to others.
Handling Hate and Death Threats
When asked if Erika receives hate because of Charlie's work and how she handles it, she responded with strength and gratitude. While she does receive hate and has been called various names, she's also lost family members and friends. But Erika views this as God pruning her life, surrounding her with people who truly love, support, and pray with them.
She prefers a small, mighty circle of trusted people over a massive one filled with superficial connections. Her attitude toward hate is simple: bring it on. She expects to have a spine of velvet steel by the end of her life. Charlie agreed that they receive significant hate and death threats, but it's simply part of life that makes them stronger. Erika added that if you're not getting hate, you should question what you're doing. If Satan isn't bothered by your actions, you're probably just being boring or possibly doing the enemy's bidding.
Men Must Lead Financially
Charlie stated firmly that men should be completely in charge of finances, and wives should have nothing to do with it beyond offering input. He believes men should release this burden from their wives and simply take care of all the money.
Erika enthusiastically agreed, sharing her experience of providing for herself while living in New York City. She found it exhausting. Now, she loves being able to relinquish that role to her husband because he's excellent at it. Trusting Charlie to provide for their family means one less thing to deal with, which she finds liberating. She can focus on more important matters because finances are his domain.
Charlie emphasized that if a man is not capable of completely handling finances, women should not marry him. Financial issues break marriages quicker than anything else. Even if a man checks all other boxes but is horrible with money while the woman is good with money, Charlie maintains it doesn't matter. Such situations create confused gender roles and essentially question whether the man will be a stay-at-home dad.
While acknowledging that some marriages where women handle bills and checks might work, Charlie sees those marriages careening toward divorce faster than others. Men are hardwired to produce for the family, finding meaning and purpose in provision. Charlie referenced Tucker Carlson's perspective that even on the worst days, knowing he was paying for his kids' tuition gave him purpose. Men find great fulfillment in coming home knowing they provided for everything.
When discussing a situation where a man stated on a first date that he wants to be a stay-at-home dad, both Charlie and Erika expressed skepticism about his orientation. However, Erika clarified she doesn't want to disparage stay-at-home dads entirely, as some temporarily have to switch roles due to circumstances. Her own father was a stay-at-home dad for a few years, which she found sweet and special, though her parents later divorced.
Charlie explained he's speaking anthropologically about natural balance. While some people can juggle imbalances of nature, husbands should be the ones going out into the world to build, battle, and conquer, then come home to present their nest egg. The wife welcomes him home ready to support whatever he needs. Financial burdens should not fall on the wife's shoulders because finances are the number one reason for infidelity and divorce.
Dating Apps and Finding a Spouse
The Kirks discussed dating apps with mixed opinions. Erika previously had stronger opposition but noted fewer people use them now. She heard dating services and matchmaking are often disappointing. When Charlie mentioned that someone he knows is very pro dating apps and services, believing more options are better, Erika questioned how lazy that makes men when they're presented with binders of women to choose from, comparing it to Mitt Romney's infamous binder full of women comment.
Charlie noted that women are becoming notoriously pickier than men, which is a significant problem. Women report being unhappier with the dating pool than men, and part of this dissatisfaction is incredibly superficial, with some women claiming men aren't attractive enough.
Erika reflected on how romanticized finding a spouse has become in culture. People expect to be swept up with flowers flying around and butterflies in their stomachs immediately. When they don't feel that instantly, they assume the person isn't right for them. She believes people get caught up in what they think they're supposed to feel rather than what actually matters.
Various niche dating platforms exist, including Christian Mingle, Mormon Mingle, and FarmersOnly.com for single people in the country. The Kirks joked about whether FarmersOnly requires video proof of throwing hay around and wondered if women wanting farm life might get chickens in the backyard to qualify.
Erika's advice for those seeking spouses is simple: ask your local pastor. What you prioritize is what you get. If you prioritize trying to find a spouse, you're much more likely to find one. However, women need to take care of themselves and can't expect results if they look like Adam Sandler. Men should figure out ways to make more money, stop spending on alcohol and video games, invest in themselves, learn more, and be scrappier. While not easy, it's straightforward to avoid poverty if you make conscious choices and avoid a poverty mindset.
Preparing for Marriage and Children
When asked how young married couples should prepare for children, Erika emphasized several key points. First and foremost, always remember to put your spouse first. Get premarital counseling and save money. Instead of wedding registries full of blenders and knives that often go unused, she suggested couples should request a honeymoon fund or savings fund. The Kirks did a honeymoon fund for their wedding, and those memories proved far more valuable than kitchen gadgets.
Charlie stressed that men must start earning enough money so wives don't have to work. If a man is incapable of that, he needs to figure it out and become a man. From a more tangible female perspective, Erika advised not getting hyperfixated on the birth process. Don't become obsessed with having a specific birth plan like a free birth at home on the couch with no drugs, leaving no room for God's will if things don't go according to plan. The Kirks had a birth plan where the only thing that went according to plan was having a child. Everything else went out the window.
Young married couples should keep their faith first and identify any fleshly problems before welcoming children. If the wife has a gossip or spending problem, or the husband has issues with alcohol, pornography, or drugs, work to resolve these before bringing kids into the world. While you should always welcome children, settling these issues first creates a healthier environment.
The Danger of Gossiping About Your Husband
Erika emphasized the critical importance of women not gossiping about their husbands to friends. Friends can be very unforgiving about certain things regarding husbands. What spouses discuss behind closed doors must stay there, going in one ear and ending at the other without being shared or repeated.
Couples must continually invest in confidence in one another, staying on the same team, supporting and loving each other. Never undercut or sabotage one another unknowingly while trying to impress friends about what your husband does or doesn't do. Wives should not compare their husbands to other women's husbands. If another husband excels with a hammer but yours doesn't, focus on what your husband does well that someone else's might not.
Love your husband so much that you hold in your heart that God put you together for a reason to have a beautiful family. Children are a blessing from the Lord. Don't forget your husband in the chaos of having kids.
The Proper Order: God, Marriage, Then Kids
When asked about the proper order regarding God, kids, and marriage, the answer was clear: God first, then marriage, then kids. This hierarchy ensures that all relationships are properly founded and sustained.
Why Married Women with Kids Are Happiest
Studies show that married women with kids are the happiest. The Kirks believe this aligns with nature. Becoming a CEO of a shoe company won't bring the same happiness as fulfilling your natural purpose.
Erika stressed that women have it mixed up. You can have a career after children, but trying to have a career while raising kids means sacrificing one for the other. Balance is a myth. She illustrated this with her daughter's monastery toy that has balancing buckets. If you put something in one bucket, it drops down. You can't fill both buckets fully. If you spend half the day on your career, you miss half that time with your kids. You must choose where your heart lies.
Your heart must be fully with the home if you make that decision. You can always return to work after kids are in school or high school. You can always find a way back into the workforce. But if you miss those precious first few years, it's nearly impossible to make up because memories are far more important than an added paycheck. This reflects how God has wired women, emphasizing nature over bank accounts.
Coming Home from the Battlefield
When asked what means most to Charlie coming home and what means most to Erika when Charlie is home, Erika explained that Charlie often texts her to keep things boring because the previous several days were anything but boring, sometimes involving hospital visits or other crises.
Charlie loves coming home more than anything, but he must go out and fight. Erika shared a sweet story about their daughter Gigi's love for blueberries. Every time Charlie leaves, Gigi gets sad, and he tells her he has to go to afford her blueberry budget. She understands now, and when they FaceTime daddy, she asks if he's working and connects it to her blueberries, understanding they don't just appear as manna from heaven or arrive via Amazon delivery.
Discussing Religion, Finances, Politics Before Engagement
Regarding how much the Kirks discussed religion, finances, politics, and child-rearing before getting engaged, Charlie reiterated that men should be completely in charge of finances, releasing that burden from wives.
Erika shared that providing for herself as a woman, especially in New York City, was exhausting. She watched her mother deal with finances while running her own business and essentially being both mom and dad after her parents divorced when she was young. Being able to relinquish financial responsibility to Charlie is liberating, allowing her to focus on more important matters.
Charlie maintains that if you're marrying a man incapable of completely handling finances, you shouldn't marry him. Finances break marriages faster than anything else, period. Even if a guy checks all boxes but is horrible with money while the woman excels at it, it doesn't matter. Such situations create confused gender roles.
If a man comes from nothing and doesn't know where to start financially, he shouldn't be getting married. Boys should not get married. If you're not capable of providing for a wife or family, take time before marriage to figure yourself out, get a skill, and become disciplined. There's a season for everything.
Waiting Well for a Spouse
Erika encouraged women in seasons of waiting to trust God's timing. If you're in a season of pruning, God is probably trying to refine you. If you're in a season of fruitfulness, enjoy and embrace it.
Charlie added that men have a much longer horizon of waiting than women. What men need to become equipped for might not be as natural as motherhood. Women can make very good mothers at 23 or 24 with almost no training. Erika disagreed somewhat, noting it's hit or miss because some women aren't prepared and end up sticking kids in front of Cocomelon or Miss Rachel for hours. Women must be prepared too, returning to the concept of being equally yoked.
From a health standpoint, Erika recommended getting blood work done every six months. Most importantly, don't have sex before marriage. Be intentional about growing down before you grow up and out, meaning root your heart deeply in Christ. Read the Bible every single day. Live your life so that a man has to seek God to even touch the slightest bit of your heart.
Take good care of yourself. While you don't need to look red carpet ready every day, show that you care about your appearance. If you can't afford nails and hair appointments, find other ways to present yourself well. This isn't about pride but about being grateful God gave you the body you have. Be grateful for health, or for doctors who can help you get there. Constantly find something to be grateful for.
Get yourself in the proper mindset and headspace, being intentional about this time. Place yourself in a stream of significance rather than focusing on what everyone else has. When a man has sought you out and tells you he's intentional, that he wants to date and marry you, not beat around the bush, you'll know and be ready. You won't question it. You'll be prepared.
Homeschooling Plans
The Kirks plan to homeschool their children, especially in the beginning. Erika admitted being initially horrified, thinking she's horrible at math and geometry, but now she's excited. She believes women lose brain capacity after each child partly because they become excited to homeschool and relearn everything, from triangles and octagons to proper grammar.
They want to travel with the kids, and honestly, they don't want to deal with other children approaching theirs saying they hate them because of their parents' public profile. Eventually, once the children are old enough, around sixth, seventh, or eighth grade, they may enter traditional school, especially for sports opportunities.
Erika encourages everyone who can homeschool to do so, and she'd love to know reasons why people feel they can't. Charlie mentioned pod schooling as an alternative, where you share a teacher who comes to a friend's house, splitting the cost and creating a small learning community.
Bible365 Community
The episode concluded with Erika promoting Bible365.com, their initiative where they read the Bible cover to cover in a year. This is their ninth year doing this, and they don't miss a day. It's a special, unique community where Bible readings can be texted, emailed, or delivered through an app. They offer words of encouragement and support, emphasizing they're real humans, not bots, who want to journey through Scripture with their audience over 365 days.
Video Transcript
Hello everyone. Very special hour episode for you today. My wife joins us. Erica Kirk, the beautiful, legendary Erica. >> I love you so much. >> I love you. >> You're my best friend. >> Welcome to the Charlie Kirk show. >> Thanks, babe. I'm stoked. >> So, we >> It's good to be back. It's been a while. >> We have asked the audience for questions. >> Yes, they had they came up with some great ones. >> Well, there were some not so great ones, too, that Daisy had, too. There were some X-rated ones, too, weren't there, Daisy? >> Oh, >> yeah. We >> Yeah, not good. Not not radio appropriate. Not appropriate for anybody. It was I don't know. All right. So, we are taking your questions and hopefully we'll be able to answer any thoughts that you have. >> Great. Do you want to take the You choose the first one. I'll pepper in the next one. >> All right. >> There's a few of them. >> Um, well, this one's easy. How long have you been married and when did you know it was time to get married? >> We've been married since 2021. >> Engaged 2020. So it'll be four years. >> Four years. We laugh about this because our dates are so messed up because of babies. Meaning there's so many dates to remember. >> I know. I get all the anniversaries. >> Anniversaries G like kids birth birthday birth birthday birth birthday. >> May 14th, you know, August 23rd. >> How did we So we've been married for >> how did you know it was time to get married? I mean >> almost four years in May. >> Proposed and she said yes. >> How did we know? We just You just know. It's also what? Don't waste your time, right? >> Don't waste your time. And plus, we are ready to start our life together. >> That's right. >> Okay, >> that was an easy one. >> That's easy. You pick one. >> Who is more conservative and why? >> Erica. >> Yes. >> By far. Not even close. I am a moderate compared to Erica. >> Andrew always jokes that once you got married to me, you got more bass. >> That's true. That is true. No, Erica is very conservative and um yeah, I >> I was raised Well, >> yes, you have a great mom. >> Great mom. My grandparents were amazing. >> Fiercely rightwing. >> Yes. My grandfather was an immigrant from Sweden and fought in World War II and the Korean War. >> Yeah. And he got the Silver Star, the Bronze Star, and kned by the King of Sweden. And he was always super far right. >> Do you think having kids made you more conservative? >> 100%. Which I didn't think was possible, >> but 100%. Absolutely. >> And do you think >> And a better wife. >> Mhm. >> And a better wife. >> Do you think that uh a lot of the fact that kid that young women are liberals because they don't have kids? Usually typically >> young women are liberals because they don't have kids. >> I'm asking. Yeah. No, I wouldn't say that because I have some friends who are still not married and don't have kids and they're conservative and they're finding it hard to find a mate. >> But if you're saying traditionally speaking like >> the women who don't have kids are more leftleaning because they choose not to have kids, that's a whole different topic. >> Yeah. >> Whole different topic. >> They consider kids to being a >> nuisance a burden. A nuisance. Um, but no, it's made and but also too, you have to understand and that also goes back to how do you know it was time to get married? Understanding your biblical role as a wife and a mother and knowing that you're ready to step into that motherhood, that being a wife and that type of era of your life, if you will. >> So, >> uh, here's a good one. What traits should conservative women be looking for in men and vice versa? I know one of the questions deals with Do you want to I was going to go off one of the questions that talked about the apps, but I think women for looking for their future spouse needs to hone in on the fact is he going to lead you closer to Christ or further away. Make sure you're equally yolked. That's so important. uh make sure that you are not looking for a man who or you know the men that are just they're grabbing the lowhanging fruit meaning on the apps. Women get upset when they go on a date with a guy they found on an app and all of a sudden they ghost them or all of a sudden they're just not communicating with them anymore. To me it's because the guy didn't have to hunt for them. Not saying they have to hunt for a woman, but they do have to seek out a wife. And since they didn't have to, they made it so easy on an app to just press a button. It It's just a number in their head. Like, you want to be so much more than I'm not saying apps are bad. I mean, they're not the greatest thing. I've had friends who did find their significant other on an app, but the likelihood, it's like the lottery. the likelihood of you finding your future husband or wife on an app is a lot less likely to happen. So, that to say, I I'm so blessed. It's so hard because I I literally won the jackpot with my husband. >> Vice versa. Um >> that's really hard. I I will say uh women should look for men that have self-control >> and men should look for women that are willing to submit which is basically a non-feminist woman >> right but the whole topic of submission becomes that word really lights people on fire >> I don't it's biblical >> I know >> I mean women >> it's beautiful marriage in the right context is so beautiful because your husband will give up anything and everything for you in a healthy manner they will literally love you and honor you and cherish you um above all and put all the noise aside and focus on wife, children, family. >> Daisy says there were quite a number of questions on submission. So dive more into that. >> Okay. For me as a wife, my biblical role is to be the helpmate to my husband. That does not mean I'm less than you and that does not mean that I am above you. Thank goodness. I love that you lead our home. I love that you um are such a you are so intentional with your faith and you are so intentional with just how you are as a father and a husband. But as a a wife, I am to quote unquote submit to you, which is a beautiful word, by the way. Because that's the order of how it's supposed to go. And God will bless that. I am not to try and rival you. We're on the same team. You, we compliment each other. The the body, an eye is supposed to be an eye to see. It's not You can't expect an ear to see. There's certain things within the body that operate how it's supposed to be. Similar to marriage, I am the wife. I am in charge of certain things. Guardian of the home, helping with the children, help. That is so I can make it easy for my husband to do what he needs to do. There's a balance there. It's not. And then you get into the people who are saying, "Well, my husband's abusive. That's not what we're talking about. We're talking about the beautiful, beautiful sacred marriage of when you are at the altar, you become one with your spouse. And the problem is is that I feel as if some women after they have children, they lose that fire that they got at the altar, that fiery spirit of this is the man I've been praying for, and they they get burned out because of the kids or because of circumstances. And then it's like submitting to my husband that sounds exhausting. It's supposed to be liberating. It's supposed to be freeing. You are in charge of what you're in charge of. Your husband's in charge of what he's in charge of. And it's supposed to be a beautiful marriage of a teamwork and symbolic within biblical marriage and symbolic within how how God and Jesus and and everything just your whole faith is supposed to operate. Um so submission's a beautiful >> Yeah. It says submit as >> as Christ submitted that submit to your husbands as I have to look at the exact verse but >> well husbands yeah >> oh husband yeah husbands submit to Christ >> Ephesians 5 >> uh I I I mean I've never found obviously any problem with it but do you think that most me that most women struggle with it here it is yes submit to one another out of reverence for Christ the submits that both husband and wives are called to serve and prioritize each other's >> needsm Mhm. >> Do you think that most most women struggle with it because of a kind of feminist mentality that has seeped in? Yeah, because I feel as if Christianity in itself has become semi feminized from the standpoint of I know we've talked about this before, you know, the Pinterest Christianity with the >> little flowers all over the beautiful scripted font and like making the Bible >> feminine and it's it's not. It's a beautiful beautiful not even a sto I mean it is a story but it's a beautiful book on how to live your life and it and it has nothing to do with being feminine or being masculine and it's all about Jesus. It's all about God. It always leads you back to God and always leads you back to how you're supposed to live your life biblically. Um but yeah, women I think are offended by by that because they feel as if um it makes them lesser than they are, which it makes them feel like they don't have the choice or the voice that they need to have in order to be quote unquote liberated. But that's the exact opposite when you're in a biblical marriage. Um you are supported and you're loved and your viewpoint is just as important. Um but you have to let your husband lead. Do do you hear a lot of struggle with that that topic of submission from from women you talk to? >> Yes and no. Yes, from the women who are not strong Christians uh who are just more of in the world trying to figure out and navigate their marriage based on that standpoint. Um but I think it goes back to what you were saying. The men need to be prepared to take on that role. That's not a light role to to carry being the leader of the home. So I think what happens is men >> who aren't prepared for that season of life, they leave the metaphorical pants on the ground. And so the women come in and put those pants on because they feel like I have to be this role. I have to play this role and I need to be the provider or I need to. And also too, I think mom guilt falls into it too of like I'm not providing for my family if they worked in the workforce prior and now they're a stay-at-home mom, which is a huge blessing >> to to have that opportunity to raise your babies like that. I think that they feel as if they're comparing their season to other people's. And so that's where I think u you know, you get the moms and wives that are not wanting to submit. But I think the husband needs to always be in a position of understanding his biblical role as well for that to all >> you know mesh together. And even even if even if the husband understands it and and reminds his wife or the wife reminds the husband like let's pray together, let's reenter our relationship in marriage um to make it healthy and Christc centered. It's important. >> You pick one. >> Okay. I I could also talk about more of what women should be looking for in or men should be looking for in women, but >> we kind of talked about that though. Yeah, >> I know what Yeah. What traits should conservative what should be >> This is one from uh that someone just emailed us in freedomkirk.com. >> Oh, really? >> Uh Erica, do you ever get hate from Charlie's work? How do you handle it? Charlie, do you ever uh feel guilt or do you ever deal with guilt when Erica gets hate? No, I I don't. I honestly this is so I God I this is how I know God made us for each other because anytime I do get quote unquote hate it's the same stuff you get like the I don't even want to say it's not even worth saying it or repeating the things that were called or the names that were called but yes I do I've lost family members I've lost friends but I actually am kind of grateful that that's happened because God has pruned my life in a way where I am surround surrounded in a circle now by people who love us, support us, pray with us, encourage us, >> small mighty circle. >> And that's what I would much rather have, a small mighty circle than a massive one. It's the people that you know that you can trust and pour into. And yes, do I get hate? >> Bring it on. >> Exactly. >> I'll have a I'll have a uh a a velvet steel spine by the end of end of my life. So, bring it on. I have nothing to fear. >> Uh yeah. I mean, look, we we get a lot of hate. We get a lot of death threats, but it's just part of life. >> It is. >> It makes you stronger. And honestly, if you are out there and you aren't getting a lot of hate, then >> what are you doing? >> Well, yeah. Satan's not You're not doing anything that bothers Satan. You're just being boring. You're probably honestly doing the bidding of >> the enemy, >> right? No, it's true. >> Okay. Uh, let's see. Emails freedom charliekirk.com. Lots of questions coming in from you guys. You want to do the dating app thing? You have >> Yeah. I mean, I kind of touched on it. I Yes and no. Oh, I used to have stronger ones, but I don't think as many people are on them anymore. >> Difference than like dating apps and like dating services are those two different >> I hear dating services are awful. I hear that the ones that >> is very pro like dating apps and services. He always was. >> I mean, >> his thought is more options the better. >> Yeah, but how lazy does that make the man to be able to be to they're presented a binder of women and they're like >> like a Mitt Romney binder full of women. >> Do you want a brunette? Okay, let's go down this manila folder. >> Women are are becoming notoriously pickier than men though, >> right? >> It's a big problem. >> They have a CVS receipt length checklist of what they want. >> There is a growing theme that women if women are actually grading, they say they're unhappier with the dating pool right now than men. >> I could see that. >> They say, and and part of it, by the way, is incredibly superficial. >> But are men unhappy with the dating pool of women? >> Not as unhappy as women. I think women, you know what's interesting? >> Someone superficial. They say men aren't attractive. >> I know, but I'm thinking about all of the way how we grew up of how romanticized they made finding your your future spouse. Like, you're going to be so in love. You're going to be swept up and these flowers are going to be flying around you and you're going to be so like butterflies in your stomach. And so I feel as if when people don't feel that immediately, they're like, "Oh, this person's not the right one." Or they're just I don't know. I think they're caught up in what they're supposed to that just I mean, >> is there like is there like a Christian Tinder? Does that exist? >> I don't know. You have an ad for it. >> Well, it's like a matchmaking service, I think. >> I don't know if there's a Christian Tinder, but match matchmaking services, I heard, are not the best. >> No good. Yeah. >> Oh, it's called Christian Mingle. I don't think they're a sponsor of our our thing, right? >> No. >> Isn't there like Farmers Connect too >> for Farmers? >> Yeah. No, I think there's like a far There's like Mormon Mingle, too. >> There's Mormon Mingle. >> Yeah. Yeah. Know, there's definitely Yeah, Don probably knows all about it. >> Not anymore, but >> Yeah, I was going to say not taken. >> Terrell and the gang probably know all about it. No, I think Mingle. >> I think there's Mormon Mingle. Yeah, >> there's also Yeah, it's farmersonly.com. That's a thing. So, you how do they check to make sure? I guess you have to submit that you have a farm. >> You have to show a video of yourself throwing hay around. >> Are you serious? >> I don't know. Uh, it says single in the country. Oh, there. There's no way this is ever abused. >> I wonder if if like a woman is like, you know what, I want that farm life. And so she gets some chickens in the backyard and then shows herself cultivating her her many. >> No, I think there there definitely is Mormon mingle. There's something of that variety. >> Okay. But asks for a stating service. I just You know what? Ask your local pastor. I'm >> you. >> What you prioritize is what you get, >> right? I'm looking for my future spouse. you prioritize trying to find a spouse, you're much higher likelihood to find one. >> But as women, you need to take care of yourself in order to you can't be looking like Adam Sandler and expect that you're going to >> and men just figure out ways to make more money. I don't want to say it's not that hard, but if you work hard and apply yourself and obsess, you can make more money and you will be more >> like you say, stop spending money on alcohol, stop playing video games, >> invest in yourself, learn more, you know, be scrappier for a I don't want to say it's easy because it's not necessarily easy, right? >> But it's easy to not be poor if you were a man. That's you have to make a decision, a conscious choice to not have a a poverty mindset. >> But what about school debt? >> They should have gone to college >> cuz schol college is a scam. >> Yeah. I mean, look, I just men will find a greater pool of women if they increase their income, >> right? >> Guys, let's talk about finding something real. You deserve a relationship with a woman who shares your values. faith, family, patriotism. But apps, they're not built for that. That's where Selective Search comes in. They're America's leading matchmaking firm, connecting men like you, faithdriven, ambitious, and ready for the future with exceptional women who love this country and value tradition. The best part, Selective Search's candidate program is 100% free and confidential. Go to selectivearch.com today. The perfect conservative woman is waiting for you. What's your favorite memory? Pre-kids, postkids, >> going to Israel. Definitely. >> That was amazing. I loved that >> being able to walk. Yeah, because you know when before I met you, when I last was when I went previously was with my mom on a pilgrimage and the whole time I was there, I was praying for my future husband. Didn't know it was you and we were both in Israel at the same time. that anytime I could find a place to put a little >> Mhm. >> piece of paper of a prayer in a hole in a wall, that was me. And that was that was me praying for you. And that and then I got to go back with you was surreal. >> How about post kids? I'd say Maine was pretty great. Jackson Hole was great. >> That one's tough, Post Kids, because every milestone with the kids is so special. um birthdays, seeing Gigi at dance class. >> Just little things like that. She did the Trump dance, by the way. I don't even know if I told you that in dance class yesterday. >> We have lots of lots of questions. Email us freedom charliekirk.com. How would you tell young married couples who are going to start having families to prepare slash ready their marriage for the changes that come with it? >> That's a great question. Okay, first and foremost, always remember to put your spouse first. >> Get premarital counseling. >> Premarital counseling. Put your spouse first. >> Save money. >> Save money. Oh, instead of investing in a bunch of clothes that they'll grow out of really quickly. They should put have a You know how people do honeymoon funds? >> Well, these are young married couples. Got it. Not single ones. Yeah. >> Okay. Uh Oh, no. That's good. >> Yeah. So instead of doing, you know, how they do the honeymoon fund, they should do a fund where it's overnight help if they don't have a family member to help them. >> I totally agree. I think that wedding directories, there's so much money wasted. >> Like, oh, I want a blender. I want a knife. I want >> And my experience, most people don't even use all that stuff. No, >> it should just be give us money. >> Just give give us money and it will be honeymoon fund or right >> save money fund. We did a honeymoon fund and it was great. >> Yeah. >> And >> it was special. >> It was totally special >> because those memories are way more important than >> So, how would you tell young married couples who are going to start having families >> to prepare ready their marriage for the changes that come with it? Yeah. Look, the the man has to I mean, I'll be very honest. The man has to start earning enough money where the the wife or the mom does not have to work. >> And if the man is incapable of doing that, well, then figure it out. become a man, >> right? A more tangible side for a female perspective. Make sure that you don't get so hyperfixated on the birth process once you're about to have a child. Like don't be so fixated and obsessed with I am going to have a child on my couch in my living room free birth no drugs and then leave no room for God's will if that totally does not happen cuz I know we had a birth plan and the only thing that went to plan on that birth plan was that we had a child. >> That's right. >> Everything else >> we had a great out the window. >> We had a great OB. May he rest in peace. Terrible story. >> So sad. Uh so what young married couples look keep your >> keep your faith obviously first and try to identify any fleshly problems that you might be having having. >> So if the wife might have a gossip problem or a spending money problem or the husband might have an alcohol problem or a pornography problem or a drug problem. Don't welcome kids into the world. I shouldn't say she's always welcome kids in the world but try to get those things settled before you entered kids in the world. So >> I think um before we go to that next question I think it's cuz you mentioned gossip. I think it's really important that women do not do not gossip to their friends about their husband. >> Mhm. >> Because first of all friends can be very unforgiving when it comes to certain things with husband. What you talk about with your spouse behind closed doors needs to stay there, >> goes through one ear and literally ends at the other ear. And you do not share it. You do not repeat it. You have to continually invest in the confidence in one another that you're on the same team. You support each other. You love each other. You're not going to undercut each other. You're not going to sabotage one another unknowingly because you're trying to impress a friend that you have a husband that does XYZ. And wives, do not compare your husband to other women's husbands. Like Hank does XYZ so well with a hammer. Well, my husband doesn't do that. Like do what your husband's good at someone else's husband might might not be good at. So just >> like love your husband, >> love him so much that and understand and hold in your heart that God has put you guys together for a reason to have a beautiful family and children are a blessing from the Lord and don't forget your husband in the process and don't forget your husband and the chaos of having kids. Now we can go to the next question. >> No, I totally agree. What what is the next Daisy you think sent it? uh what should be the order when it comes to God, kids, and marriage and why I just kind of >> Well, it's God first, then marriage, then kids, >> right? >> It is. You get to choose the next one. >> Um >> these are great questions. >> The study shows that married women women with kids are the happiest. Why do you think that is? I mean, it's just nature. I mean, just becoming a CEO of a shoe company is not going to give you happiness. >> Women have it so mixed up. You can have you can have a career after children, but if you try to have a career while you have your kids, you there is no such thing as balance. That is such a myth. >> Gigi gets those little monastery toys every month. And there's this one that has the buckets that balance. If I put something in one of those buckets, it's going to drop down. And if I try to balance them, both buckets are filled, which is not realistic. I can't spend half of the day doing one thing. I missed out half of that time with being with the kids. So like, you have to choose where your heart has to be fully with the home. You have to make that decision on your own. But you can always after your kids are in school or after they're in high school, you can always go back to work. You can always find a way to get back into the workforce, but if you miss those precious first few years, that is so hard to make up because memories are so much more important than >> an added paycheck. I just >> I I And look, it's it's how God has wired us and it's our nature, which is to have children, not just have a bigger bank account. >> Next question. Uh, what means the most to Charlie coming home from the battlefield? What means most to Erica when Charlie is at home? I'm not quite sure I understand the question. >> I understand the question. Charlie will text me and say, "Keep things boring." >> Yes. >> Because for the past several days, things were not boring. >> Hospital visit. >> So, anyways, uh, yeah, keep things boring so that he can be on the battlefield and not be mortified when he comes home. >> I I love coming home. It's the best thing. But I have to go out and fight. >> I know. It's so cute. Gigi loves blueberries. And so every time he leaves, she's so sad. And he's like, "Honey, baby, I got to go cuz I got to I have to afford your blueberry budget." >> She gets it. >> She totally gets it. She understands it. Cuz then when we're facetiming daddy, she'll look at daddy and be like, "Dad working?" I'm like, "He is?" And she's like to four blueberries. Yes. So she's connecting that blueberries just don't come from they're not just mana from heaven. They just >> they don't fall into the kitchen. >> They don't just come xneilo. >> No, they sure don't. >> Not at all. Uh this is a good one. How much did you guys discuss religion, finances, politics, how to raise children before getting engaged? If I could just chime in on one of them. Men, you should be completely in charge of finances. >> I totally agree. >> And your wife should have nothing to do with it. I'm I mean they they can have input, but you should release that burden from your wife and just take care of all the money. >> I have to say having to provide for my just as myself as a woman, having to provide for yourself, especially cuz when I was living in New York City, it all fell on me. It's exhausting. I love the fact that I can relinquish that role to my husband because he's so good at it, but relinquish it to him and say, "I trust you so much. I know you're going to help provide for our family." That is one less thing I have to not deal with. I've watched my mom have to deal with that while she had her own business and she was my mom and dad in one package cuz my parents got divorced when I was really young. But to be able to relinquish that to you is so liberating. and I can focus on other things that are way more important because that's your domain and I don't have to worry about it. >> And if you are marrying a man >> that is not capable of completely and totally handing the finances that and you should not marry that man. >> It will finances will break a marriage quicker than anything else. Period. >> That >> but what if he checks all of the boxes? He just is horrible at money and you're really good at money. >> Doesn't matter. >> Okay. >> Doesn't matter. I mean, then then all of a sudden you're talking about a reverse I think. Then you're talking about very confused gender rules. >> Then then are you gonna be a stay at home dad? Is that basically what that that is? >> Okay. But then what about the women that are the ones that write the checks and do the bills and >> good luck? >> Yeah. >> I mean, it can work. I'm sure it has. But I see those marriages careening for divorce quicker than anything else. Here's why. We as men are hardwired to produce for the family. We find meaning. We find purpose. >> Tucker would talk about this all the time. He would like, I'd have the worst day ever, but I'd know that today I'm paying for tuition. Like, today my kids tuition are being paid for. I can't pay. And for men, we find great purpose in being able to come back home being like, we provided for all of this. >> And that >> Yeah. And the Daisy just said she has a stay-at-home friend who just went on a date and said the guy on the first date he wants to be a stay-at-home dad in the future. Yeah, he's probably gay. Daisy agrees. She says I think he might be gay. Yeah, I totally agree. But >> just went on a date. Why would the guy say he wants to be a stay at I mean I but can I just say >> sounds like torture. >> Hold on. I do not want to knock the stay-at-home dads. I do not. There are some who had to h to who to who temporarily have to switch that role. That happened to my parents a long time ago. Granted, again, they got a divorce, so that probably falls into your bucket. But >> I am an anthropologist, >> but my dad was a stay-at-home dad for a few years, and I got to say, it was really sweet and really special. I was for but >> of course it's not an indictment of the morality of >> but if you're saying from the getgo I want to be a stay-at-home >> it is a imbalance it's an imbalance of nature and some people are able to bal are able to >> juggle imbalances of nature but >> your husband has to be the one that goes out into the world and builds and battles and comes home >> conquers comes home and is like this is my nest egg this is what I worked so hard for and the wife is like, "Welcome home, babe. Whatever you need." >> Financial burdens should not be brought into the concern of the wife. It just I I just it should >> Well, then it bleeds into the kids and the kids are like, "Oh, I can't afford to do this." >> Why am I being so firm on this? Because I know the number one reason why people cheat on their wives and why divorce happens is financial. It is number one. >> It is the number one thing. it start it collapses and breaks apart marriages more than anything else. And so if you have a husband that leads in it and it's it's not that again it comes easy to me but guys don't borrow money. You just start with that principle. You're not going to have any credit card debt. Now you can use credit cards just pay them off every month and you the only other debt that's acceptable is a mortgage payment. If you just start with that principle you're you're going to be in a much better spot. But how? What if the guy comes from nothing and doesn't know where to start? >> Then he shouldn't be getting married. Then he's a boy. Boys should not get married. >> I love you. >> I love you, too. But it's true. I mean, if you are not capable of providing for a wife or a family, then you should take some time before you get married. You got to figure yourself out. You got to get a skill. You got to get disciplined. You have to get >> There's a season for everything. >> Yeah. And I know that for some young girls out there or even older women who are still looking for their human, um, a season of waiting is to encourage you to just continue to trust God's timing. And if you're in a season of pruning, that's probably because God's trying to refine you. And if you're in a season of fruitfulness, then enjoy that and embrace that. the I I will I will add to that that men have a much longer horizon of waiting than women >> and what men need to get equipped for actually might not be as natural. Women can make very good mothers with almost no like training. It's just at 23 24 women can make good mothers. >> I don't know about that. That's hit or miss. Okay. Because some women will they they have to be equipped for it too and their hearts prepared for it or else they're going to stick their kid in front of Coco Melon. Cuckoo Melon. What is it? Coco Melon. What is it? Miss Rachel. Oh, her voice kills me. Those shows for hours. But they have to be prepared for it too. You have again equally yolked, right? Equally yolked. >> Next question. How um how would you wait well for a spouse? First of all, this is more of like a health standpoint. Get your blood work done every six months. >> Don't have sex before you get married. >> Don't have sex before you get married. Um, really be intentional about growing down before you grow up and out. Meaning, make sure that your heart is so rooted in Christ. Make sure that you're reading the Bible every single day. Make sure that you're in a position where you're living your life that he has to seek God in order to even be able to touch the slightest bit of your heart. Um, and make sure that you are taking good care of yourself. Again, don't dress well. Don't try, you're not going to attract someone if you're not looking your best. Not saying you have to look like you're on a red carpet every single day, but take care of yourself. If you can't afford to get your nails and hair done, that's fine. There's still ways to make yourself look like you care. I'm not saying from a prideful standpoint, but take take be be grateful that God gave you the body he gave you. Be grateful that he he you're healthy. If you're not healthy, that you have doctors in your life to help get you there. Just constantly be grateful. There's always something to be grateful for. And just find a way to be able to get yourself in the proper mindset and headsp space of knowing that you are so intentional about this time and you're in a in a stream of significance rather than focusing on what everyone else has and you are in a position where when and if the man has sought you out and he's he's he will tell you I am intentional about this. I'm not trying to beat around the bush. I want to I want to date you and I want to marry you. When it's that type of guy, you will know and you'll be ready. You won't say, "Oh, I don't know about this." Like, you will be prepared. Just take take care of yourself. Take care of yourself. >> I agree. I think we have one more. Uh do you want to pick the last one? >> No, I want you to. >> Okay. Oh. Uh what do you think about schooling for kids? What are you planning on doing? >> We will be homeschooling, especially in the beginning. At first, I will be honest. At first, I was horrified thinking I I am horrible at math and geometry, but I'm excited to some extent. I'm excited. And this is why I think that women lose a portion of their brain capacity after every single kid. It's because then you get excited to homeschool your kids and you get to relearn everything all over again and you're excited about learning about triangles and octagons and proper grammar. all over again because you have that brain space to do it and you're excited. So, we will be homeschooling. Plus, we want to travel with the kids. And plus, to be honest with you, I do not want to deal with uh kids going up to to either of our children and being like, I hate you because of your >> eventually once they get old enough, they'll >> they'll get into school, right? Exactly. Sixth, seven, eighth grade maybe. But, >> Right. Especially for sports, too. >> We also travel a lot. But I I encourage everyone if you if you can homeschool and if you can't homeschool, I want I I would love to know the reason why. >> Or you can do pod schooling where you have a teacher come to your friend's house and you all kind of >> That's right. >> share share a teacher. >> I love you. >> I love you too. That was really short and quick, but we have more questions to go. >> It was It was a full episode. >> Wow. Time with you flies. >> Email us freedom charliekirk.com. Check out bible365.com. >> Yes, we Yeah. read the Bible with us in a year. >> We've this is our ninth year, I think. And so we read the Bible cover to cover. We do not miss a day. And it's a very special, unique community where you can get your Bible readings texted to you, emailed to you, or through the app. And we would love to be on that journey with you to read the entire Bible with you 365 days. Words of encouragement. Whatever you need, we're there. We're real humans, not thoughts. So yeah, bible365.com. >> I love you. I love you, baby. >> God bless you guys.
