Charlie Kirk on Why Self-Love Is Dangerous and Big Families Combat America's Fertility Crisis

The Negative Response to Wanting a Big Family

A young parent approached Charlie Kirk with a concern that resonates with many Americans who desire large families. The individual expressed wanting to homeschool, have a homestead, and raise five to seven children. However, the overwhelming response from others has been negative, with people calling the idea terrible and crazy. Despite having one child who has been the best thing that ever happened to them, this parent faces constant pushback against the desire for a bigger family.

The question posed to Kirk was simple but profound: How can we change the stigma against people wanting to have bigger families, especially when larger families tend to make people more conservative and benefit the country?

Self-Love as One of America's Most Dangerous Forces

Kirk responded by addressing what he considers one of the most dangerous phenomena in modern America: self-love. He argues that self-love leads directly to self-harm and is a primary reason why so many young women experience mental health issues today. When you have children, Kirk explains, it represents the death of self-love.

Kirk draws a critical distinction between self-love and self-respect. While self-respect is healthy and necessary, self-love has become a toxic cultural force. Having children forces you to realize that life is not all about you. Parents get up at 2 a.m. not because they want to, but because they have to serve another human being. This act of service, Kirk argues, is fundamentally different from the narcissism and pleasure-seeking that characterizes much of modern life.

Duty and Obligation Versus Narcissism and Pleasure

Kirk emphasizes that we must talk more in society about what one ought to do, not simply what one wants to do. American culture has promoted the idea that everyone is their own boss, that we all get to call our own shots. While this works for some people, Kirk contends that for most, this approach leads to a life of misery without direction.

God has wired into nearly everyone a biological urge and need to reproduce and raise children, Kirk states. Society should celebrate big families rather than stigmatize them. He suggests that it would be beneficial for America's looming fertility crisis if everyone in attendance had seven children, which would create approximately 15,000 new human beings as a good start.

Big Families and the Wealthiest People in Society

Kirk acknowledges the hesitancy many people feel about having large families but offers a perspective based on his personal observations. Having met some of the richest people in the world, he notes that the wealthiest people he knows are those with the biggest families. These individuals are never lacking in purpose, never lacking in direction, and never bored.

This observation leads to a critical insight about happiness in modern America: the most unhappy people are bored. Boredom, Kirk argues, is a gateway to deep unhappiness. While raising children is not easy and represents one of the most difficult things a person can do, it provides the antidote to this boredom by filling life with purpose and meaning.

The Death to Self and the Path to Purpose

Kirk concludes by reiterating that raising children is hard. It is a death to yourself and one of the most difficult undertakings anyone can pursue. However, this difficulty is precisely what makes it meaningful. The challenge of raising a large family provides the kind of purpose and direction that modern society desperately needs but often lacks.

The cultural shift away from celebrating large families has created a void where boredom and unhappiness have flourished. By embracing the duty and obligation that comes with raising children, individuals can find the purpose that guards against the malaise affecting so much of contemporary society.