Charlie Kirk Reveals His Honest Advice for Young Couples on Faith, Politics, and Building God-Centered Marriages
Enjoying this? Share it with someone who needs to see it.
Up Next
Charlie Kirk's Marriage Advice: Why Political Agreement Matters More Than You Think
15:36
Charlie Kirk on the Body Positivity Movement, Lizzo's Juice Cleanse Controversy, and Fat Shaming That Changed His Life
3:06
Charlie Kirk and Erika Kirk on Biblical Marriage, Submission, and Raising a Conservative Family
36:22
Charlie Kirk Reveals His Honest Advice for Young Couples on Faith, Politics, and Building God-Centered Marriages
Charlie Kirk shares candid advice on maintaining a God-centered marriage with Erika, emphasizing the importance of spiritual disciplines like honoring the Sabbath and praying together. He addresses tough questions from young people about marrying someone with different political views, converting a non-believing spouse, and prioritizing marriage amidst raising children. Kirk pulls no punches when explaining why political and religious alignment matters for long-term success, why fathers must lead their families to church, and how to nurture marriage through intentional moments. His insights challenge conventional wisdom while offering practical wisdom grounded in biblical principles.
Building a God-Centered Marriage Through Spiritual Disciplines
When asked about maintaining a healthy, God-centered marriage with Erika, Charlie Kirk emphasizes that achieving what you prioritize is fundamental to success. He explains that people naturally accomplish what they make their top priority in life, noting that humans are designed by God to aim at something and have purpose.
Kirk reveals he is writing a book about one of the most important practices in his marriage: honoring the Sabbath. He strongly encourages everyone to turn off their phones for one day each week, insisting that the world will continue turning and happiness will increase. For the Kirk family, this means from Friday night to Sunday morning, Charlie is completely unreachable by the outside world. This practice allows for easier time with the kids, attending church, and being present with one another under what he calls a "holy covering."
Beyond the Sabbath, Kirk emphasizes spiritual disciplines as foundational. He and his wife pray together, fast together, and attend church together. These shared spiritual practices create alignment and strength in their marriage.
The Father's Biblical Obligation to Lead His Family to Church
Kirk delivers a pointed message to men about their biblical obligation to bring their families to church regularly. He cites studies showing that when only the mother brings children to church, the likelihood of those children maintaining their faith is very low. However, when the father brings the kids to church, the likelihood of faith retention is extremely high.
He acknowledges that many people were raised in families where the mother was very religious while the father was indifferent, asking the audience to raise their hands if they can relate. Many hands go up. Kirk urges men not to create that same dynamic in their own families, even when sleeping in or watching football seems appealing. By bringing their wives and children to church, fathers demonstrate that they value God over comfort, setting a crucial example for their children.
Prioritizing Marriage While Raising Small Children
When asked about prioritizing marriage amidst the chaos of raising small children, both Charlie and Erika offer practical wisdom. Erika explains that the marriage came first and must be nurtured because parents are raising children to eventually leave the nest. She warns against empty nest syndrome, where couples who neglected their relationship suddenly find themselves staring at each other in an empty living room wondering who the other person is.
Erika shares a sweet practice Charlie maintains: even when he's rushing out the door before a multi-day trip while the kids are causing chaos in the kitchen, he stops, grabs her, and says "One minute." They stare at each other for sixty seconds, reconnecting and saying "I love you." These intentional micro-moments recharge their relationship until they can have a proper date night, which they aim for at least once a month.
Charlie adds that marriage actually comes before the children, acknowledging this is provocative but true. He explains that the relationship with children is important but not covenantal—it's an outgrowth of the covenant between husband and wife. The children are under their stewardship, but covenantal relationships like those seen with Abraham, David, Israel, and Jesus are different. Marriage is the only relationship in the Bible compared to Christ's relationship with the church, making it uniquely sacred.
Advice for Young Married Couples Without Good Role Models
When a 21-year-old man who married in April asks for advice—explaining his parents divorced when he was a toddler and he has no memory of them together—Kirk offers straightforward counsel. The most important thing to learn is that marriage is not about you. It's about service and commitment to the other person.
Kirk humorously notes that anyone who thinks men and women are the same will realize they're very different after being married for an afternoon. He gives the example of how men come home from work and could have experienced a nuclear explosion but will simply say "It was fine" when asked, while wives will discuss every single detail. This is just their different natures.
He references Dennis Prager's teaching that drives the left crazy: men's nature is towards variety. Kirk emphasizes it's important for wives to tell their husbands "Thank you for being loyal to me." Many men don't hear this enough, and while some women resist having to say it, understanding male nature makes this recognition valuable.
Kirk reiterates the importance of carving time for one another and warns that social media and phones will do everything possible to get in the way of marriage. He repeats his practice of turning his phone off Friday night through Sunday morning to remain unreachable by the world and focused on his family.
He concludes by fully supporting young people getting married early, despite people warning about risks. Kirk argues that everything in life involves risk, including waiting until 28 or 30. There's also the risk he hears about from thousands of listeners who email him saying they're 35, haven't found anybody, and feel it's too late. That regret and despondency is also a risk people need to consider.
The Hard Truth About Marrying Someone With Different Political Views
A young man asks about his relationship with his girlfriend, explaining they have differing political beliefs and voted differently. Though both are Christians who agree on how humans should be treated and issues like abortion, they diverge on identity politics, candidate evaluation (personality versus policy), and policy prioritization—she's more focused on foreign aid while he thinks domestic issues should take priority given the damage from the last four years.
After asking if the young man wants the truth, Kirk delivers blunt advice: do not marry this girl. He explains that you should not marry someone you cannot talk about the daily news with. When building a life together and instilling values in children, you cannot have the first elemental issue at 7 AM when turning on the radio or podcast be disagreement. There's already enough tension in a home without adding fundamental disagreement to the mix.
Kirk emphasizes the need for harmony and agreement on macro issues like religion, eternity, and political matters. Disagreement on micro issues like food preferences, bedtime, cars, or vacation destinations is fine. But macro alignment is essential. He poses the scenario of raising a child who spends mornings with dad and other times with mom—will that child hear two different narratives about fundamental issues?
When the young man explains that his girlfriend has an open mind, is starting to agree with things he says, and has been influenced by having two liberal parents and attending liberal schools, Kirk doubles down: do not marry this girl. He adds emphatically that you do not want liberal in-laws, urging the young man to run away and find somebody else.
Kirk explains that in-laws are very important because they become embedded in your life—you almost inherit them as pseudo parents. Holidays like Thanksgiving and Christmas should be occasions you're excited about, not events you begrudge. Political agreement is a necessary foundational element when building a family.
Never Marry With the Intent to Convert Your Spouse
A young man who has been with the love of his life for about a year and a half wants to marry her after they both graduate college. However, she's not where he is in his journey with Christ. He asks how he can guide her toward Jesus so they can share a happy future together centered around Christ.
Kirk's first immediate response: do not get married until that gets sorted out. Do not get married with the intent to convert your spouse. If it does not get sorted out, he would caution against entering into marriage at all.
He explains the difference between a contract and a covenant. A contract is between two people—buying something, leasing something. A covenant is between three people: man, woman, and God. A covenant has no expiration date and is built on love, trust, and mutual shared values. A contract is not.
Kirk advises everyone to enter into marriage covenantally, not contractually. This means getting married in a church, doing premarital counseling, and ensuring your spouse shares your values about religion. If they don't, it might not be the right choice, because when marriage gets hard and you're going to church to sort out your problems while she's not, that creates an insurmountable divide.
He then addresses the young man's specific question about helping his girlfriend find faith. Kirk advises praying for her, bringing her to church, and asking tough questions. He asks what her specific objection is to following Jesus—is it technical (insufficient evidence), was she wronged by religion growing up, does she think it's hypocritical?
The young man explains she doesn't understand how there can be a higher power when there's so much evil in the world. Kirk identifies this as indicating she's somewhat smart and offers a specific approach.
Answering the Problem of Evil: A Philosophical Framework
Kirk suggests drawing a crooked line and asking if it's crooked. When she says yes, ask how she knows. The answer: because she knows what a straight line looks like. The same logic applies to evil—she only knows something is evil because she believes there's a transcendent good to compare it to.
Evil cannot exist if there is no standard of good. Without God, evil is just an opinion. Murder is not wrong if there is no God. Stealing is not wrong if there is no God. She's not the first person to wrestle with the question of evil, but the more important question is whether things are actually evil or just opinions. Believers know there's an absolute standard above us that we appeal to.
Kirk references Romans 12:2, which teaches that God will use all things for good for those who love Him. He acknowledges this might not fully satisfy her intellectually. As Christians, there are difficult things to explain—girls at Christian summer camp getting washed away in floods, child cancer, earthquakes. These are genuinely tough.
However, atheists have to explain everything else: why we exist, what is love, what is mercy, why our universe came into being, whether there's a standard of good or evil. They must explain all of existence.
Kirk notes that most women are led to the gospel through emotional and feeling pathways, but this young woman sounds analytical. He encourages the young man to help her see that just because evil exists doesn't mean there is no God. In fact, the only reason she recognizes something as evil is because there's a transcendent perfect standard of good—God himself.
Final Thoughts on Relationships With Opposing Political Views
When asked again about young adults in relationships with significant others who have opposing political views, Kirk reiterates that while everyone is free to make their own choices, this is a recipe for disaster. He's not necessarily saying to break up immediately or that you can't have a nice time together, but he poses critical questions about the future.
Eventually you might have children. Whose values will you teach them? What kind of school will you send them to? Who decides? After living together for years, when the news comes on and tension is already high in the house, will you be able to discuss current events politely and wonderfully together? Will you see things the same way? What about charitable giving—will you want to give to the same charities?
Kirk acknowledges he's seen it work occasionally—people with opposing views building beautiful lives and doing great things. But he's seen it be a disaster more times than not. This doesn't guarantee that finding someone who shares your views will result in a wonderful marriage, but if you want to have children, Kirk firmly believes you must marry or be with someone who sees the world the same way you do. Otherwise, it's not fair to the child, who will receive competing and confusing narratives and dialogues at all times.
He also warns against going into a relationship thinking you're going to change the other person. That's not what a relationship is, and people who go into relationships with the intent of transforming the other person typically don't succeed. Relationships should be built on mutual alignment, not conversion projects.
