Mischa Paulin's Mock Job Interview Skewers a Decade of USAID Coups, Bribes, and Chaos
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Mischa Paulin's Mock Job Interview Skewers a Decade of USAID Coups, Bribes, and Chaos
Mischa Paulin plays a senior advisor with ten years at USAID who is quietly job hunting before the agency's own turmoil catches up with her. In character, she explains that USAID isn't a charity but a vehicle for carrying out U.S. foreign policy, and walks her interviewer through a typical day that includes briefing her team on cover projects like hospitals and universities, bribing warlords, recruiting terrorists, funding coups, and, time permitting, igniting wars or spreading global chaos. Paulin plays the résumé as a string of admissions any real interviewer would find disqualifying, right up until the punchline lands. It's a short, sharp piece of satire built entirely around a job candidate who is far too honest about what her old job actually involved.
Mischa Paulin's sketch opens with an interviewer noting her character's ten years at USAID and asking if it's a charity. She corrects the interviewer immediately: no, it's not a charity, it's self-serving and carries out U.S. foreign policy. Asked if she's still with the organization, she confirms she is, but explains that USAID is currently on the chopping block for being wasteful, inefficient, and destabilizing world peace, which is why she's looking to secure other work, and hopefully get out before she's investigated.
A Typical Day of Coups, Bribes, and Chaos
Asked to walk through a typical day, Paulin's character lays it out matter-of-factly. Mornings start with briefing the team on priorities like building a hospital or university in a particular region, framed as cover for an intent to topple that region's government. By lunch, she's often issuing directives to bribe warlords or recruit terrorists. Before wrapping up for the day, she likes to fund coups and fund worldwide news outlets. If there's time left over, she'll get started on igniting wars or spreading global chaos. She describes herself as someone who "wears a lot of hats," all of which the interviewer notes fall under what amounts to an organized crime umbrella.
"We Can Really Use That at This Firm"
Asked if she's a team player, she says yes, and offers an example: if there's a job too dirty for the CIA, she'll do it. The interviewer, taking stock of everything she's just heard, tells her it seems like she was completely full of it, before immediately reversing course and telling her they can really use that at this firm, welcoming her aboard.
Video Transcript
USAID Senior Advisor Goes Job Hunting!
0:00
10 years at USA ID now what is that a charity no no that's what we would have
0:08
8 seconds
you think uh we are self-serving and carrying out US foreign policy so no not a charity and you're still with the
0:16
16 seconds
organization I am yes but we're on the chopping block for being wasteful inefficient and destabilizing World
0:24
24 seconds
Peace So I am looking to secure other work and hopefully get out before I get investigated
0:31
31 seconds
investigated for what that's a great question thank you for asking walk me through a typical day at us Aid first I
0:40
40 seconds
brief the team on the day's priorities like building a hospital or a university in a particular region to conceal the
0:49
49 seconds
fact that we intend to topple that government uh by lunch I often issue directives to bribe Warlords or recruit
0:58
58 seconds
terrorists and before wrap for the day I like to fund coups and fund worldwide
1:05
1 minute, 5 seconds
news if if there's time I will get started on igniting Wars or spreading
1:12
1 minute, 12 seconds
Global chaos I wear a lot of hats so oh this is nice uh so so so you know but
1:20
1 minute, 20 seconds
they all kind of fall under the organized crime umbrella would you say you're a team player
1:28
1 minute, 28 seconds
yes give me an example say there's a job too dirty for the CIA I'll do it well it seems like you
1:37
1 minute, 37 seconds
were completely full of we can really use that at this firm Welcome to the
