The Eternal Consequences of Our Choices: A Former Industry Worker's Story of Redemption and Regret

[00:00] So that I mean we were talking earlier

[00:01] and again back to like the people

[00:03] critiquing you online and stuff, but

[00:04] this idea of like the consequences,

[00:06] right? God gives us this eternal gift of

[00:09] salvation despite our sin and despite

[00:12] the wages of sin being death and hell,

[00:14] right? We're saved by the blood of

[00:15] Christ. Amen. There's still a natural

[00:18] consequence order, natural order. And

[00:20] and God can still like temper that even

[00:22] and give miracles in that. And he does

[00:24] like his grace is so amazing, but

[00:26] there's still the natural order that we

[00:27] live in. time and space and our own

[00:29] brokenness. And so I think that's

[00:31] another piece of the story that's so

[00:32] powerful because again like I do think

[00:35] there's a sense of like power that a lot

[00:37] of young women especially have where

[00:39] they're like, "Hey, I'm going to go do

[00:40] this for a season. I'm going to have

[00:43] fun. I'm going to make money. I'm going

[00:45] to be popular and then if I want to go,

[00:47] you know, check out later, turn me off,

[00:49] I can turn it off, you know, and it's

[00:51] it's going to work out one way or the

[00:53] other." And it may and it may. I had a

[00:57] very wild like rare situation that I got

[01:01] married right out of the industry to a

[01:03] Christian man. Like that's crazy to me.

[01:07] Those good good men don't want a girl

[01:09] that's on Only Fans. Don't want a girl

[01:11] that's been in the industry most likely.

[01:14] Yes, your sins are forgiven. You you can

[01:16] become a completely different person,

[01:18] but you still did those things. Like

[01:20] it's like the like there's this book

[01:22] that call that says uh it's called the

[01:25] the body keeps the score. Yeah. You know

[01:27] it's so true. Your body doesn't just

[01:30] forget. Your mind doesn't just forget.

[01:32] You don't get amnesia after you've lived

[01:35] any kind of lifestyle. If you're a

[01:36] murderer, if you've done drugs, you

[01:38] don't even have to be in the porn

[01:39] industry to have a bad past and still

[01:41] remember it. Like your body knows, you

[01:44] know that you've been through things,

[01:46] experienced things. I've had bad dreams

[01:47] about things from years ago, you know,

[01:50] like even um being 13 that has popped

[01:53] into my head so many times as an adult.

[01:57] Yes. So many times like you're like it

[02:00] doesn't just go away. And obviously that

[02:02] wasn't my fault, but things happen to

[02:05] you that we put ourselves into those

[02:07] situations. Like having sex with people

[02:09] that are not your husband does really

[02:11] bad things to you. That's why God says

[02:14] to get married, you know, cuz we cannot

[02:16] we cannot just hold the temptation, you

[02:18] know, we are not strong enough to just

[02:20] not be tempted to do that, you know. So,

[02:23] it's so important and man, I wish I

[02:25] would have waited. I wish so badly I

[02:29] could make a time machine and go all the

[02:31] way back and just never have sex with

[02:34] anybody until I waited for Jordan. Like,

[02:37] wow. My parents told me that at one

[02:40] point in my life like you know you

[02:41] should wait for your husband you know

[02:43] didn't understand didn't care I was like

[02:44] whatever. Um and then wow I understand

[02:48] it so much because the most special

[02:50] person in the world to me is him and I

[02:53] hate the fact that I gave myself up

[02:55] before that you know so there's just so

[02:58] many consequences to it. Even if you're

[02:59] not hated on the internet it doesn't

[03:01] matter. That's not the only consequence.

[03:03] There are so many and as a young person

[03:06] as like a young 20year-old it's so hard

[03:08] to comprehend those consequences when

[03:10] they haven't happened yet you know as

[03:13] there was people who told me you know

[03:15] like oh you know it's going to be out

[03:17] there forever and I kind of joked about

[03:18] it I'm like well I hope so you know

[03:20] because like that's good for me it's

[03:22] more money for me but now I'm paying to

[03:24] get it taken off the internet actively

[03:26] that's another price I have to pay you

[03:29] know is just physically paying for it to

[03:31] get wiped off the internet which will

[03:32] still last forever forever. So, there's

[03:34] just so many consequences. There's like

[03:37] there's people you have to pay to try to

[03:39] scrap. There's like a DMCA people who

[03:41] like send in you have to pay for that

[03:44] service, by the way. And it's just when

[03:45] you have so many leaks, it's a mess.

[03:48] It's a mess cuz now you're still

[03:49] actively trying to Yep. all the time. I

[03:51] have lawyers involved. Like, I'm trying

[03:53] to do as much as I possibly can to get

[03:55] that wiped, you know, before I start

[03:57] having kids. And then another

[03:59] consequence is having children. you

[04:01] know, now you have this incredible crazy

[04:03] past and promiscuous past and that now

[04:06] I'm going to have to talk to my kids

[04:08] about one day because they'll be on the

[04:10] internet and I would hate for them to

[04:11] see something like that and then not

[04:13] understand it. So, I want to be

[04:15] completely open and honest with my kids

[04:17] unlike my parents were to me about their

[04:20] crazy past. There is a difference

[04:21] between like the time of our Lord, you

[04:23] know, we're talking about the scripture

[04:24] and Jesus, you know, with the adulteress

[04:25] or the woman at the well or the

[04:26] prostitute, but today there's a record,

[04:30] right? Like that's unusual in all of

[04:32] human history, the record that exists

[04:34] today because of technology with

[04:36] pornography and all of really any bad

[04:38] deed quite frankly. Like it's not just

[04:39] pornographic stuff. It's like you know

[04:41] there's a murderer that's on camera like

[04:43] now that

[04:44] vid shots, right? So, it's just it's an

[04:47] interesting it's a it's an additional

[04:50] question about how we show up as

[04:52] Christians in that world where people's

[04:54] misdeeds especially those like sins of

[04:56] the flesh like pornography etc can be

[04:58] present on the internet but and and

[05:01] people can still be pushing it right and

[05:02] not want to delete it and and the world

[05:04] is like holding on to it and it and it's

[05:07] the records there and that still has

[05:09] this impact but it's like in Jesus

[05:11] Christ you're forgiven like start a new

[05:13] and then there's just dealing with all

[05:14] of that that is it's a it's a like you

[05:17] were saying the consequences. It's that

[05:18] additional challenge that you're you're

[05:20] having to navigate.